Lockdown. How are you doing?
These are strange times. Thoughts that we wanted to share with you a few days ago seem barely relevant now.
The thought and ideas we wanted to share a couple of months ago seem like they’re from different people on a different planet.
We ran one of our ‘Tough Times Therapy’ sessions a few days ago covering ‘Self-Kindness’.
And, yes, self-kindness can be about looking after yourself, having hot baths, long walks, treats, naps and giving yourself space.
But it’s also allowing the full range of feelings that we all have.
And that full range is likely to be even fuller in these challenging times.
So read this and see what you resonate with… what you’re feeling…
From overhearing conversations on our walks around this coastal town (Brighton) and from friends and the news and the work we do and from what’s going on in our own house –
There are those who are feeling lonely and sad,
Others who are happy to be at home with family.
Those who are going through deep grief at the loss of loved ones,
And those who are on the front-line risking their lives to save others’.
There are those who are awake at night worrying about their business or jobs,
And whether they can pay the bills.
And others who are made up that they’re being paid to sit at home and chill out in the park.
There are those who are at peace and accepting of the situation.
And others who are raging at the unfairness of it.
There are those who are coping, and those who aren’t.
Those who are vulnerable to this virus, and others who are less so.
Those who are financially secure, and others who are financially on the cliff-edge, or falling off it.
There are those who are okay but compassionate and concerned for those who are struggling.
And others who are okay and don’t give a thought to anyone else.
There are those who are on a rollercoaster of feelings, okay one day, distraught the next.
And those who just keep going, day after day, immersed in the regularity of this.
There are young adults who’ve moved back in with their parents,
And parents who’ve moved in with their adult children.
There are families screaming at each other.
And couples taking their relationships to the edge.
And others appreciating their time together and finding more love.
There are those who look back and appreciate the simple pleasures of another life, just being able to have a coffee with a friend on a pavement cafe.
And others who know they’ll look back on this and appreciate the simple pleasures of a simpler life.
There are those who will get through it.
And others who won’t.
For many this is about survival – of themselves, their relatives, their livelihoods, their businesses.
For many there is confusion, uncertainty, challenge and strain.
For many the world has shrunk – sitting in their homes, not mixing, nothing else on the news.
For some the world has grown and become clearer – the importance of friends and family, or the joy of nature, as perspective shifts.
Many are more frustrated, angrier, more judgemental, grouchier and edgier.
Others are more resigned, depressed, quieter and numb.
Others are more alive, more positive, more allowing of the mix.
There are those who are working like they’ve never worked before.
Others who have so much free time, they don’t know what to do with it.
There are those who sincerely believe we should do this,
and others who believe we should do that.
Some of those in the first camp shout at those in the second camp.
And there’s plenty of shouting back too.
There’s probably no easy answer.
One day’s right is the next day’s wrong.
Serious people are busking it.
The jury’s so far out, they’re locked down in their own homes.
There is no one size fits all. No common experience. No common storm.
Whatever resonated for you –
Please –
Be Kind on Yourself.
Practise this every day.
Don’t beat yourself up.
Allow your feelings.
Even if they’re not particularly nice feelings.
Make self-allowing and self-kindness second nature.
So that, as and when we emerge from lockdown and this crisis, you keep the habit.
Even when, back in another world, of crowded tubes or pubs or festivals or sitting next to a stranger with masks a distant memory,
You are kind to yourself and allowing of yourself in a way that you never used to be.
John & Gaia x
