Are you TOO Kind?

I was on my walk last Friday morning, down to the sea.

And the high-pitched and distinctive tone of a very small child-girl rang out – 
“He’s really kind that bloke”.

The voice of an adult man concurred –
“Yes, he is really kind that bloke. And he’s having a walk.”

I looked over. 
And they were looking at me as I strolled past.

Which raised a few questions for me…

What’s a tiny girl doing saying ‘bloke’, it sounded so funny, a bit Oliver Twist?

How’s a tiny girl judging me so readily as ‘kind’?
I am kind.
But how did she get it? 
Do the kid folks have a deeper sense, like dogs?
Can they smell it?

And it did get me thinking, over the weekend, about kindness, and being kind…

I do think that being kind is a good thing.
I used to assume that most people were good and kind.
And life, of course, has taught me that many people aren’t.
And when they’re really the opposite of kind, they can cause real misery.

So far, so obvious.

But I also started to wonder whether my kindness is, occasionally, a form of adaptive mechanism.
(And I’ve learn about all this from Gaia and her ‘Being Me Therapy’, of course)…
Whether I’m somehow suppressing other not-so-kind feelings, and that’s not-so-good.
Why?
Because we all have a mixture of feelings, and ‘protest’ and ‘healthy aggression’, as they’re called in the business, are good to feel, 
and also good to express (in the right way).

And just like the tiny girl had literally shouted out at me to draw my attention to this subject…
A few things happened over the weekend to confirm my suspicion that my kindness is not all good.

One example – 
I was driving along the main road near our house, and a car was trying to pull out from a parking spot onto the road.
You’d normally never notice such a thing, and not stop to let them out.
But I saw it was the car of our neighbour.
So I stopped and indicated for him to pull out in front of me.
I’m kind you see.

I assumed he was driving off somewhere, 
but he then pulled into our road, and proceeded to re-park his car, right outside our houses, 
and taking the last spot.
It took me a few minutes to find a more distant spot, 
a few more minutes to walk home, 
all valuable minutes to reflect that I have to watch out with this kindness thing.

So, this is not an invitation to be nasty, no way.

I’ll still be kind, generally, just like most of you will be.

But we have to watch out that we don’t suppress the other stuff too (in an adaptive way).
And, sometimes, keep driving, and take the parking spot right outside our house 🙂

Love,
John & Gaia xx

P.S. This is the kind of thing we share frequently, and chat with people about, in our private Facebook group, ‘Access John & Gaia
Find out more, and join, here.

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