f**k it
EVENING
RETREATS
An evening to feel better and learn life-changing stuff
What’s an Evening Retreat and a ‘F**k It’ one at that?
It’s a chance to lock yourself away somewhere warm and cosy once a month and listen to something that will soon make you feel better and allow you to learn some seriously powerful, evidence-based F**k-It-themed teaching from John C. Parkin and Gaia Pollini.
Not only will you feel better during the Evening Retreat, what you learn will be instantly applicable to the rest of you life (when you’re not on Evening Retreat).
We ran our first Evening Retreat in March, ‘How to be Ridiculously Relaxed’, and the next one will be soon.
Your wonderful ideas for future Evening Retreats
Yes, we asked you via email for your ideas for our F**k It Evening Retreats –
And the response was fabulous.
What a wide range of topics there are here.
Have a read below and tell us which ones you prefer (there’s a comments section at the bottom of the page).
We’ll choose the Evening Retreats to do based on what you’d prefer to do.
HOW TO STAY CALM WHEN THE SHIT SHOW HITS
Suggested by Clare & Papri & Jan (and elaborated on by us)
It’s fine being calm when life is steady.
But how do we stay calm when the Shit Show hits?
Dealing with a young family, money issues, stresses at work, health challenges, relationship break-ups… of course the list can go on.
This will be 90 minutes of ‘F**k It’ techniques for real world Shit Shows.
THE ART OF SELF-CARE
Suggested by Wendy & Curtis & Mickey (and elaborated on by us)
How do we learn to really look after ourselves?
And work with creating healthy boundaries to protect ourselves?
And then open to the self-love and love for others and community that naturally emerges.
Say ‘F**k It’ to the demands of the world and the pull to please others, and finally start looking after yourself.
HOW TO THINK BRILLIANTLY EVERY DAY
Suggested by Alun (and elaborated on by us)
Changing our thoughts can change our lives.
Every thought we have has an effect on our physiology and then, in turn, the reality we manifest for ourselves.
We all know the different a positive outlook can have, but how do we make the switch from more negative obsessive thinking?
‘F**k It’ is a key to a change in approach and overall thinking.
HOW TO FIND YOUR WAY ‘HOME’
Suggested by Sonia (and elaborated on by us)
What is ‘home’ for you? A place, a group of people, a feeling inside?
How do we identify our ‘home’?
And how do we navigate our path towards home through all the noise of work commitments, other poeple’s expectations, financial pressures and so on.
It’s time to say ‘F**k It’ and head home. Ahhhh!
HOW TO LOVE BEING YOU
Suggested by Gill (and elaborated on by us)
How to be more the you that you love (you know, the relaxed or funny or authentic or bubbly or contemplative you).
And how to accept the bits of you that you don’t particularly love (start list here…).
Learning to be fully you, and loving being fully you, and a real journey of ‘F**k It’…
saying ‘F**k It’ to all the ways you’ve adapted over the years in order to cope.
HOW TO BE FREE OF DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS
Suggested by Anne & Mandy (and elaborated on by us)
We all know about negative thought patterns…
…about the ex, the person at work who winds you up or worrying about all the things you can’t control or something that has happened in the past that you can’t change.
We’ll be looking at some quick and easy ways to stop repetitive, stressful thoughts that don’t achieve anything other and building new habits of kind and positive thinking.
F**k It, we can be free of our destructive thought patterns.
HOW TO CRACK FEAR
Suggested by Julie (and elaborated on by us)
Fear can be crippling.
Fear holds us back from doing what we would like to do.
So how we can release the fear, or at least work with it?
Are there times when fear can be useful?
This is how to say F**k It to some fears, and face other fears.
HOW TO LET GO AND FORGIVE
Suggested by Donna & Orla (and elaborated on by us)
How to forgive ourselves and others, and thus allow some real letting go and the peace that it can bring.
This can allow us to finally be ourselves, without that burden of regret, guilt or resentment.
And ‘F**k It’ by a powerful tool is such a letting go.
F**K IT. BREAK THAT HABIT
Suggested by Anne (and elaborated on by us)
We all have habits we’d prefer not to have –
overeating , procrastinating, smoking, people-pleasing etc.
How can we create new more life-enhancing habits and kick the old ones?
It takes a few F**k Its, that’s for sure.
HOW TO BE WONDERFULLY ALONE
Suggested by Louise (and elaborated on by us)
We may not have expected it, but we find ourselves living alone or out of a relationship.
How we can we let go of expectations of how our life ‘should’ be?
How can we accept and thrive being out of a close relationship –
But still remain open to one when the time is right.
This is about saying F**k It and being with what is, as it is, and seeing that it can be wonderful too.
SAYING ‘F**K IT’ TO WHAT OTHERS THINK OF US
Suggested by Bev & Annabel (and elaborated on by us)
When our focus is always to please others, or not to upset anyone, or not to stand out,
then we can’t easily tune into what we really want.
When we’re so concerned about what others think of us that we constantly worry and imagine what people are thinking, then adjust our behaviour based on these thoughts, then our freedom to be and act is seriously curtailed.
Here’s the guiding mantra for this Evening Retreat:
‘F**k It. What you think of me is none of my business’.
LISTEN IN TO A THERAPY SESSION WITH GAIA
Suggested by Bharat (and elaborated on by us)
Would you like to listen in on a full hour-long session between Gaia and a client?
Gaia, under the umbrella of ‘F**k It Be You’ is a therapist with vast experience who sees clients every day (via Skype), helping them to identify the ‘hidden source’ of their struggle and become free (and happy).
We can gain so much from hearing others going through their process.
As well as being interesting, the work touches on universal themes that allow us to experience our own insights and healing even if we’re not having the actual session.
Of course, the session will be carried out with a volunteer who loves the idea of doing a session with Gaia in this way.
SAY F**K IT TO WORRY
Suggested by Julie and Tim (and elaborated on by us)
Worry eats away at us.
Often, what we’re worrying about doesn’t actually happen.
But we still worry.
Imagine being able to sit around more, not worrying about might happen, being more present, trusting more that things will turn out okay.
It’s time to say –
F**k It to Worry.
HOW TO RELAX THROUGH THE MIDDLE-OF-THE-NIGHT DOOM
Suggested by Kate (and elaborated on by us)
Most of us know it –
Waking up in the middle of the night, and then tossing and turning as the anxious thoughts bounce around our heads.
There’s something about the night that intensifies the worries and makes everything seem even darker than it actually is.
This is a crash course in how to relax, even through the middle-of-the-night doom, and give yourself the best chance of getting back off to sleep too.
HOW TO GET THE RETREAT FEELING AT HOME, AND AT ANY TIME
Suggested by Jannette (and elaborated on by us)
Imagine being at home, after a difficult day and starting to feel like you are on the beach, drinking cocktails, the sun on your face, listening to the sea, just lying back in bliss.
Then imagine being able to take this feeling out into the world with you, so that you feel like this, evenin difficult situations.
Welcome to calling in the permanent F**k It Retreat.
F**K IT, DO IT
Suggested by Laura (and elaborated on by us)
That thing that’s been on your to-do list forever, but you can’t quite commit to yet.
Everything is in place, you know it’s a good idea, you know its what you want…
But you just can’t quite pass go.
F**k It. Do It. This evening retreat will guide you through the barriers, and help you to make that final leap.
F**K IT AND FEEL FANTASTIC
Suggested by Cath (and elaborated on by us)
How to tap straight into the side of yourself that feels fantastic, that loves life just as it is.
How to uncork the life-force that’s already there.
Say ‘F**k It’ to the struggle, and tap into the innate ‘Fantastic’ of life.
BEING IN THE MOMENT, LIVING IN THE TRUTH
Suggested by Paul, Kate & Peter (and elaborated on by us)
We know we should be more in the present.
We know we should face things as they are, the truth, as it is.
We know we should live more from our truth.
Doing it is another matter.
90 minutes of how to actually crack this being thing.
F**k It. Be here, now.
THE SCIENCE OF F**K IT
Suggested by Elaine (and elaborated on by us)
Why does saying ‘F**k It’ work so powerfully?
It’s related to what happens in the brain when we say ‘F**k It’ (and other profanities too, but this one has a very particular effect).
There’s now lots of scientific evidence on the power of the profanity.
Welcome to neuroscience and swearing 101.
F**K IT, BE CONSCIOUSLY CONFIDENT
Suggested by Janet (and elaborated on by us)
The root of the word ‘confidence’ gives us a clue to the key to having it –
As it’s about having ‘trust’.
If we can learn to trust more, we will be more confident:
more confident in ourselves, and more confident in life.
This is not just blind trust though – it’s a conscious trust.
And this is not just blind confidence either (which is the cause of the blustery braggard behaviour) – it is ‘conscious confidence’.
Yes, it’s time to say F**k It and be consciously confident.
HOW TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE & MAKE A LIVING FROM IT
Suggested by Simone (and elaborated on by us)
Whether in our leisure time, so with hobbies and exercise and chores –
Or with the work thing –
What it would be like to Do What We Love (and possibly make a living from it too)?
Doing more what we love, and less what we do, takes a whole load of F**k Its.
But there’s method and a systematic approach to such life-change too.
F**K IT IN RELATIONSHIPS
Suggested by Lesley (and elaborated on by us)
How to stay calm in relationships.
How to stay you within relationship.
How to express yourself clearly to others.
How to live from truth and clarity.
How to exit toxic relationships.
We live in relationship to others.
Here’s how to bring F**k It Wisdom to the whole affair.
AN EVENING OF QIGONG
Suggested by Liz (and elaborated on by us)
Qigong is the relaxing and Chinese healing energy art, sometimes described as the Chinese yoga.
It is awesome and makes a big difference to any day that it’s added to.
John will teach you the basics in 90 minutes – Qigong the F**k It way.
Enough to keep you going, in many ways, for a good old time.
F**K IT & DUTY
Suggested by Kay (and elaborated on by us)
How do we find freedom and peace within duty and duties that feel like a burden to us?
Whether that’s caring for a family member (maybe whom you don’t like), or doing a job we loathe, or feeling under pressure to continue in a relationship that no longer works.
In this Evening Retreat we’ll look at achieving freedom from duty, but also freedom within duty, using ‘F**k It’.
HOW TO BE AT PEACE
Suggested by Julie & Anne (and elaborated on by us)
Underneath it all most of us want to be at peace.
But such a feeling is not to be found out there, by doing more, or less, or changing things in our lives.
It is found within, and is always there, beneath.
This is an evening devoted to re-discovering that peace and lying back into it –
Then learning how not to cover it up again later.
HOW TO HANDLE ANGER, IN MYSELF AND OTHERS
Suggested by Paul (and elaborated on by us)
We all feel anger at times.
What’s the difference between healthy aggression and destructive behaviour?
How can we best deal with anger directed towards us?
This is anger management, the F**k It way.
HOW TO SILENCE THE INNER CRITIC
Suggested by Nicola & Janet (and elaborated on by us)
The inner critic is likely to be a Frankenstein’s monster-mix of critical voices that we’ve received through our lives.
But it’s now our voice, living within us and speaking up the moment we dare to think that we could do something brilliant, or we’re kind on ourselves, or we want to break free, or try something new, or speak out for a change.
This is not just about gagging this voice: but understanding it, seeing where it’s come from and developing a new voice that talks about too. So the effect is either balance or silence.
‘F**k It, I can deal with my Inner Critic.’
F**K IT. LOVE YOUR BODY JUST THE WAY IT IS
Suggested by Jacky (and elaborated on by us)
How can you learn how to accept your body just the way it is,
with all its flaws and imperfections?
How can you turn that acceptance into love, where you revel in what you are, who you are, and what you look like?
This is big stuff. It’s time to say ‘F**k It’ to all that self-loathing.
HOW TO FREE OURSELVES FROM ‘TRYING’
Suggested by Jacqueline (and elaborated on by us)
Most of us operate from effort and struggle.
We are brought up on the idea that work yields results, that effort is essential to reward.
But the constant ‘trying’ is so tiring.
Here’s how skip the Trying and sit more in the present, and enjoy more ‘Being’.
Say ‘F**k It’ to Trying and move to Being.
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Kate,
That is beautifully put –
And totally true has this is being woven into being by this wonderful community,
See you soon,
John
A late comment – apologies – I just couldn’t decide when I read them all! My top 3 would be cracking fear, changing destructive thought patterns and some Qi Gong for my living room!
What struck me, and I find really beautiful, is the web of different ideas that are being woven by all the members of this community, and held in place by John and Gaia. We are weaving our own story of disharmony and by sharing we are releasing and finding the harmony – amazing. Thank you John and Gaia 🙂
What an inspiring list! My top 3 are –
HOW TO FREE OURSELVES FROM ‘TRYING’
F**K IT, BE CONSCIOUSLY CONFIDENT
F**K IT. LOVE YOUR BODY JUST THE WAY IT IS
Thanks Stacey,
great choices –
Gaia and I have just been talking in depth about that ‘trying’ topic this morning as it happens 🙂
J
Are any of your workshops geared towards the neurodiverse (e.g. Asperger syndrome)?
Hi Louisa,
All these topics have been generated by our F**k It community.
Is there something in particular that you’d like to hear about in the context of the neurodiverse?
John
Voting for 3.
how to be brilliant every day.
How to find your way home.
How to be free of destructive thought patterns.
And one question, event locations in mind? Specifically what country.
John, nice choices,
thank you,
as for locations –
all online –
via Zoom and incorporating recorded content too –
and every on available afterwards as a full recording to those who’ve joined,
John
Wow Wow F**K family what a wonderful array of topics.
2 stand outs for me would be How to find Your way Home and How to Love being You. Mmmmm I sense a theme going on there 🙂
Hope all will be available on line as Brighton sadly just a wee bit far to go from New Zealand for an evening or even week end to be be ridiculously relaxed. Just love the idea though. You guys are brilliant.
Much love xx Linden
Linden,
Helllllooo, your choices are great – and yes, there is a theme there 🙂
And, yes, all will be online – exactly for that reason, for everyone to be able to access this stuff and get together once a month as one happy family learning great stuff together 🙂
Happy Ea(s)ter,
I write this on a table for of chocolate eggs,
John
How about ways to ground oneself/others and feel more real.
Mel,
Yes, love that, thank you.
We’ll add that,
John & Gaia x
These are all great, just as everyone has said!
I’m most drawn to
The shit show (which I think could work hand in hand with brilliant thinking every day — another great one!)
Middle of the night doom (which would probably work with the first two in lots of ways but is its own special kind of hell)
Finding our way home
Looking forward to taking part in these!
Thanks Liz,
The Shit Show is a real favourite – and won the prize actually 🙂
And I like the idea of pairing it up with ‘brilliant thinking’,
John
So many fab choices, it’s hard to choose just two. The ones that resonate with me the most are the following;
1. Break that habit
2. How to free ourselves from trying.
Close contenders were;
Stay Calm when the shit show hits, How to crack fear, relaxing through the middle of the night doom and finally taking the retreat feeling home.
Would love to jump on any of the above evening courses. Thank you for bringing ‘fuck it’ into our homes!!!!! 🙂
LIndsey,
And those are great choices – a lovely mix –
I’m starting to see various possible journeys through these topics 🙂
Thank you for your lovely feedback –
and what a gorgeous way of doing F**k It this is,
John & Gaia
Hi and thank you, thank you, thank you! I’ve been using the Ridiculously Relaxed mantra while doing Reiki and other bodywork with clients this week, it helped not only the level of relaxation in the room but also my intuition – which was very cool! How brilliant to see these ideas, wealth of things there & I look forward to more evening bliss. My particular pulls are to the ‘art of self-care’ and ‘freedom from trying’, look forward to sorting that crap out and getting some lasting boundaries. Having been ‘wonderfully alone’ for over a decade, I have to say I do love it, it’s very freeing and appreciate the level of cultural norm that leaves you thinking you’re very wrong for enjoying that, which took a lot, lot longer to be free from than any relationships! Love that you’re doing these, sending vibes for a magical Thursday!
Janet,
Thank you thank you –
It’s fab that Ridiculously Relaxed is continuing to work so well for you –
And lovely that you’re using to spread the beauty of Reiki too 🙂
It does deepen over time too doesn’t it?
Nice choices there too – to be move self-loving and in more ease generally would be marvellous wouldn’t it,
Hope you’re having a good Easter,
John & Gaia
Hi i’m the paul who suggested ‘being in the moment ‘ which I thought was good but having seen all the other suggestions they’re all brilliant and it’s almost impossible to choose but great to know so many people are thinking the f**k it way
Paul,
That’s true – though I could argue that (and similar argument to Mandy’s above) –
that if we really suss the presence thing, then a lot of other things naturally fall into place.
There’s such a great range here isn’t there?
It’s been brilliant for me, as I would never have thought of a lot of these myself – truly lovely process. 🙂
How to think brilliantly everyday would be amazing! Practice this and become a master, everything else would be easier to deal with.
Mandy,
You’re right, so right.
You really think brilliantly you, don’t you?
J
My favorite is how to stay calm when the shit show hits. Second place was soooo hard! I would say tie between Qi Gong and the Science of Fuck It
Thanks Connie,
Yes, great… I’m putting my mind to doing the Science one soon-ish –
And def the shit show one too – we love that too.
J
I Love them all! However how to stay calm when the shit storm arrives and fuck it do it then self care and how to find your way home would be my top picks right now.
Thanks Sheila,
That’s a good mix, if we could all suss that combination it would be good wouldn’t it –
Learning how to get on and Do It, whilst concentrating on self-care, knowing how to stay calm when things go wrong, and learning where ‘home’ is for us.
Nice.
J
They all sound great, but if I had to choose it would be How to relax through the middle of the night doom (I don’t sleep well, sometimes really badly), and Saying F**k It to what others think of us. Oh, and How to be at peace (I’d better stop here!). I was sorry to miss the How to be Ridiculously Relaxed – any chance of it being repeated?
Hi Katy,
Thanks for your Top 3 – brill –
And as for Ridiculously Relaxed – we’ve had a lot of people ask about repeating, so yes, we will at some point over the next few months 🙂
J
The Science of F**k It sounds great, to be able to understand deeper how the mechanics of shifting our beliefs/consciousness affects us for the better, or not, in our physical-ness
Johanna,
Yes, I’d love to do this one – there’s so much fascinating stuff to explore there. J
OMG they are all amazing, what a fantastic bunch we are. I want to do all of them how do I choose…
Anne,
You are a bloomin’ fantastic bunch aren’t you?
You see why I’ve been excited about this?
I can’t wait to get stuck in. x
F**K IT. LOVE YOUR BODY JUST THE WAY IT IS
Suggested by Jacky (and elaborated on by us)
How can you learn how to accept your body just the way it is………….would be a favourite for me. This isn’t just about shape, it’s about health and coping with conditions that are medical and affect how others see you. Many people could identify with this.
Thanks Linda.
And I love what you’ve added there. That’s so true.
And as someone who has had health issues that have really affected how I see my body, that resonates for me too.
Thank you.
How about – How to destress quickly – whether at work or at home – simple qi gong and breathing exercises that you can do at your desk, in the toilet cubicle at work, in a quiet space at work or at home – tailored to how much time and space you have!
Oooh, I like that, thanks Kate.
We’ll add that, it would be great fun to do too.
How to be free off destructive faults patterns
Qiqong at home
How to feel like you are on a retreat at home
Are three of my favourites
As well as my own ones obviously !!
These are all brilliant! it’s really difficult to choose a favourite but perhaps ‘how to stop trying’? And on a similar note, how about ‘ how to be authentic/ authentically you?’ And ‘how to accept yourself?’
Hi,
John & Gaia here.
Your favourite(s) here please.
And any suggestions you have in fact.
We really appreciate this – all your ideas and feedback.
We’re creating something very exciting together,
John & Gaia x
So many interesting themes and many are hard to untangle from each other 🙂
Self-care; authenticity; doing what you love; finding home; positive thinking!