IT’S TIME TO JOIN THE REVOLUTION.
HERE’S HOW
Hi, John here.
So it’s the last day of this chance to join the F**k It Revolution as a Founder Member.
In video 4, I explain how this F**k It Revolution works.
And how to join the Revolution.
Everything is on this page.
And I’ve also just added a special last-day video message –
Where I give you a glimpse behind the scenes –
Into our lounge and into our lives –
as I share a big change that’s happening for our family at the moment.
I look forward to your joining us on this Revolutionary Path.
Last-day-to-join message from John –
a look behind the scenes
And here’s video 4 –
explaining the offer to join this F**k It Revolution
And if you missed any of the previous videos, here they are –
1. WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION
2. YOUR FIRST REVOLUTIONARY STEP
3. THE FULL F**K IT REVOLUTIONARY PATH
JOIN THE REVOLUTION BY MIDNIGHT (UK) THURSDAY 16th JULY
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THIS IS YOUR REVOLUTIONARY PATH –
You’ve probably been trying at least one of the F**k It mantras in these last couple of weeks.
You’ve probably seen that change is possible.
Imagine the change you’d experience by working through these key subjects, with their revolutionary mantras, systematically, over time, with John’s support, and within a community of others on the same path.
This is your F**k It Revolutionary Path.
“I’VE FELT MUCH BETTER…”
“I’ve felt much better… Mantras ready to go on the wall.
Thank you John, v. much.” Janet (comments at bottom of page)
IT’S A MONTHLY REVOLUTION –
Every month, there are three separate elements to following your F**k It Revolutionary Path.
That keeps it simple and doable.
And that makes it powerful.
REVOLUTIONARY SCRIPT DOCTORING
In week 1 you’ll receive the ‘Revolutionary Script Doctoring’ session. It will be either a video or audio recording. It will consist of the information you need to answer the ‘why’ you’re doing this, and visualisations to help you picture your revolution and the crucial work of doctoring the negative scripts and inducing the new, healthy ones.
REV0LUTIONARY LIVE GATHERING
In week 2, we’ll gather on Zoom for the ‘Revolutionary Live Gathering’ for a world of life-changing goodness via fun exercises, sharing, visualisations over live music, shamanic journeys, digging into how these mantras work in various real-life scenarios, and generally getting to know each other and enjoying each other’s company.
CELEBRATING THE REVOLUTION
One week later, we’ll be sharing and celebrating our progress and successes and feelings of bliss and challenges faced (differently) in our private Facebook group. You’ll be supported and support others and John will be there to guide the journey as ever. You’ll be inspired by others’ stories of progress and you’ll be back repeating that month’s mantra, knowing its power to change (everything).
“I am finding saying ‘f**k it, it doesn’t matter so much’, and ‘I am what I am’ really empowering“
“… I thought saying them 100 times a day sounded excessive but this has made me notice that the negative thoughts sneak in nearly all the time. It is wonderful to have something quick to counteract them with.” Sarah (comments at bottom of page)
THE 5 TRICKS FOR REVOLUTION –
1. WHY A REVOLUTION?
The ‘why’ is always important for the rational side of our brains. Why are we using this particular mantra? Why do we use mantras like this? Keep the rational side happy and you can go play in the rest of the brain.
2. OPEN THE GATE FOR THE REVOLUTION
To enter the rest of the brain (ie. beyond the rational), we need to relax (that’s the ‘gate’). This is where the real (joyous) work will be done. The visualisations and mantras then soothe and clean and balance those long-accumulated negative scripts and ideas.
3. VISUALISE THE REVOLUTION
The deepest parts of the brain work with imagery (and are stimulated by words). So visualising where we want to go with the mantra work, how we want to feel, the way we’d like to be, is critical (and also fabulous fun and deeply powerful).
4. REPEAT FOR REVOLUTION
Repetition is the essential technique for changing our existing (unhealthy) scripts. This is how these scripts got there in the first place (constant repetition), so this is how we balance them (and, shhh, replace them). We have some great ideas for making repetition of these mantras a part of your life.
5. CELEBRATE THE REVOLUTION
We will share our progress with each other. And we will celebrate that progress. In itself, this amplifies the power of the work. We are inspired by others’ successes. We naturally model them. And we remind ourselves of how well we’re doing, month-by-month.
LISTEN TO THE REVOLUTIONARIES…
These are just some of the 200+ comments from conversations around the F**k It Revolution over the last 2 weeks
(see full conversation at the bottom of this page).
Your Revolutionary Path for our first year…
Here are the monthly topics for the first year.
The dates are for the Revolutionary Live Gathering each month (on Zoom).
Tues 4 Aug 2020
THE F**K IT PRINCIPLES
‘F**k It’, the original mantra, affects the brain. Which direction it takes in your brain depends on how you use it. This is the guide to the primary ways (and principles) to use F**k It.
Thurs 27 Aug 2020
THE SCIENCE OF THE F**K IT MANTRAS
To understand how the F**k It mantras work, it’s worth understanding some of how the brain works – especially the hemispheres, the brain frequencies and the role of the subconscious.
Wed 23 Sept 2020
F**K IT, IT DOESN’T MATTER SO MUCH
This first mantra is so effective because it gets to the heart of the issue for most of us – that we take everything so seriously and it all becomes so HEAVY. This is an instant lightener and perspective-giver.
Tues 27 Oct 2020
F**K IT, THIS TOO SHALL PASS
There are many stories as to the origin of these four words. But they work because they can apply to good times and bad: they remind us that everything washes away over time, and therefore not to hang on (to the good or the bad).
Thurs 26 Nov 2020
F**K IT, I CAN RELAX NOW
Relaxation is at the heart of this work, and there’s little that can relax like this mantra. Even if the rational brain responds that there’s no reason to relax (now), the mantra will help tease out one, and you’ll RELAX (now).
Mon 21 Dec 2020
F**K IT THIS IS WHAT IT IS
We could spend all year just on ‘acceptance’. It’s a big subject (John has written at least one book on this). But these five words get you there in an instant (without the instant debate). In our instinctive need to resist (what is), this zaps your brain with the irrefutable truth – ‘this is what it is’.
Jan 2021
F**K IT, I AM WHAT I AM
Gaia spends her life on this one, via her ‘F**k It Be Yourself’ work. The core of many of our issues is the non-acceptance, the non-approving, the non-loving of ourselves. F**k It, we are what we are. I am what I am. Now let’s start living.
Feb 2021
F**K IT, THIS IS BLISS
Even in tough times, there is plenty to be grateful for, plenty of beauty. But there is also bliss to find and to feel. It doesn’t exclude the pain and difficulty, it sits with it, and sometimes beneath it. Don’t think about this too soon, but one day you will see that ‘F**k It, THIS IS BLISS’. Yes, even that, and this.
Mar 2021
HOLDING THE SIX
It’s one thing to be working with the F**k It mantras one-by-one (which we have to do in order to successfully embed them). But imagine being able to hold all six, so that you draw on just the appropriate one when something arises in your reality (like a video game player rolling through the required weapons).
Apr 2021
MANTRA JAZZ
Using our F**k It mantras over months so far is like learning an instrument, having the scales deep within our fingers and brains. Well, now let’s play with the mantras, jazz-style. Let’s make some new ones and let’s make beautiful music with our lives in the process.
May 2021
THE ‘I AM’ MIRACLE
No spoilers here, but there are tricks to creating your own longer affirmations, and the correct use of ‘I am’ is a miracle in itself in that context.
June 2021
LET’S CEREBRATE
No typo here. And John’s brain is undecided whether it likes this one, but this is ‘Cerebration’ time, as in time for some celebration of the cerebral work we’ve been doing. By now, we’ve literally changed our brains, and our bodies and our lives and that’s worth cerebrating big-time.
LISTEN TO THE REVOLUTIONARIES…
These are just some of the 200+ comments from conversations around the F**k It Revolution over the last 2 weeks
(see full conversation at the bottom of this page).
SO, YES
YOU CAN JOIN THIS REVOLUTION
NOW
AS A FOUNDER MEMBER
FOR ONLY £12 / MONTH
THIS FOUNDER MEMBER PRICE IS ONLY AVAILABLE NOW (BUT FIXED FOR YOU FOREVER)
You’ve watched the videos.
You’ve tasted the power of changing your scripts.
Now it’s time to Join the Revolution.
As a Founder Member, at the special one-off price of £12 (which you’ll have FOREVER), and with the fabulous bonuses below.
Click on the script / button below and start changing your scripts, for good.
Lock in your Founder Member rate for as long as you’re a member 🙂
+ UNIQUE BONUS NO.1
NEW – F**K IT FLIX – YOURS FOR ONE YEAR
(WORTH £84)
We are launching ‘F**k It Flix’ in October.
You’ll receive a F**k It video every single week, with notes from John & Gaia about the theory behind the video or stories about the filming.
Over times you’ll develop a Netflix-like library of F**k It videos.
And it’s all yours, as a bonus, for one year from October.
Lock in your Founder Member rate for as long as you’re a member 🙂
+ UNIQUE BONUS NO.2
F**K IT THERAPY 1-DAY eRETREAT
(WORTH £77)
This 1-day online retreat is based on John & Gaia’s book ‘F**k It Therapy’.
It’s full-immersion F**k It.
You’ll learn how to –
* Say F**k It to Worry
* Say F**k It & Do What You Fancy
* Say F**k It and Attract Whatever You Want
* Say F**k It and Be Free
And it takes place over one day in September.
Lock in your Founder Member rate for as long as you’re a member 🙂
+ THE CHANCE TO HAVE 1-to-1s WITH JOHN FOR A THIRD OFF USUAL PRICE
SET OF 2 SESSIONS (ON ZOOM OR SKYPE) WITH JOHN FOR £300 £197 (A THIRD OFF),
UNIQUE TO YOU, NOW
You’ve seen John in action in the videos.
Many of you will already know John from his F**k It books, or from his retreats or workshops.
John is a high-level coach, bringing his years of experience and F**k It wisdom to personal clients. And usually for £150 for a 1 hour session.
He coaches and advises on a wide range of issues.
Just bring a problem or issue and, with John’s help, you’ll solve it.
This is a unique opportunity to book 2 sessions with John for a third off, so £197 instead of £300. It’s another bonus for you becoming a Founder Member.
You’ll be asked at the checkout if you’d like to book this.
This offer is only available when you sign up.
JOIN THE REVOLUTION BY MIDNIGHT (UK) THURSDAY 16th JULY
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YES
THIS IS YOUR ONLY CHANCE
TO JOIN AS A FOUNDER MEMBER
& FOR JUST £12 / MONTH
And this is where we’ve been having our conversations 🙂
And to leave a fresh comment (rather than replying to others), scroll right down to the bottom of the comments.
Then yours will show at the top (most recent).
You don’t have to leave your ’email’ or ‘website’ if it asks you. Or your name if you prefer not to.
232 Comments
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Thank you to all those who’ve supported the process of developing this F**k It Revolution, including those who’ve taken part in the conversation in ‘comments’ over the last couple of weeks.
And a particular thanks goes to the members of the Tough Times Therapy group, who helped inspire and develop this membership through our evenings together during lockdown.
I pretty much already say these mantras to myself already, so I thought “f**k that, I don’t need this program.” Then I thought, “Well, 12 pounds isn’t much. I can try it for a month or two. “F**k it, don’t overthink it.” So I’m signing up. See how well John’s marketing is working? 🙂
Just listened to video 2…
Am three months and one week into this long tail version of Covid 19 with complete exhaustion, dizziness most days and breathlessness on any exertion. Unable to spend more than a couple of hours out of bed and with a few days of feeling better just to crash back down with utter exhaustion again. The drs say they are seeing people like me with this condition but can offset nothing and have no real understanding as to why it is happening. Meanwhile my phone is ringing with patients wanting to be seen and my children trying to understand where their daddy has gone and why he is either unavailable, (tiptoe past the closed door and don’t bother him) or so grumpy and doesn’t want to play or seems disinterested in my show or what I have to say… daddy isn’t daddy anymore…
So it was so helpful to hear your chronic illness story as all I want to do is get better and start living my life again. No amount of rest or hydration or good food is changing anything for me right now and I look out of the window feeling like ai am in my own little prison and not part of life at all.
All I want is to be well and be able to engage with my family and work and it feels like it is a million miles away. The brain fog stops me from being able to concentrate on anything for more than 5 minutes and that’s still a struggle. So the caring less about feeling well feels like a tough one to really believe at the moment but I understand the pressure I am putting on myself to be well and am sure it is the right thing to be doing.
Thank you for this series. When I have had a sleep I will watch the 3rd and 4th videos and sign up as a revolution is needed in this life right here right now and my scripts for sure need to change.
With love to you and Gaia for all you do but more for who you are… xxx
Just listened to video 3.. couldn’t wait til later. The curtains went back and the THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Mantra was definitely the one to appear on the screen. Spending some time allowing that to penetrate felt really good, and also in my deeper self was a known truth.
Feels good to even temporarily let go of the frustration of the current situation. It will pass it WILL.
The script I remember from early adulthood came from a man I didn’t even like – strange but true – but because he was popular and admired by my friends I think I looked up to him in an odd way. What he said was:
‘Wow, you really have to be the centre of attention, don’t you.’
The hurtful thing was I had just been being happy, compliant, me and don’t believe I was being obnoxious. From that point onwards every time anybody said anything similar it was as if they were reinforcing what he said and I felt so deeply ashamed.
As a child I was always told to be quiet, to not make a fuss, just go away, and until I left home I was miss invisible. So I guess in finding my voice and being happy and optimistic i was going against my programming, and having somebody slap me in the face again put me right back in my box.
I don’t think I’ve ever really recovered from that comment if I’m honest. I don’t like crowds, I never do anything that makes me stand out and when I’m praised for anything, I always throw the compliment away. I feel bad and wrong for standing out, like I have no right and everybody else is innately entitled.
I’ve never related how I feel to those comments before – It’s all rather odd!
Hi, John,
I joined the F**k It Revolution today! I am so excited about the sessions we will be covering. Eek! Straight after signing up for the classes, the ‘F**k it, this is bliss’ mantra popped into my head as well as the ‘F**k it, I can relax now’ mantra that you mentioned in your welcome video.
Thank you!
Claire x
Hey Claire,
Fantastic! And welcome in again –
You’re in great company, people from all over the world ,
old friends, new friends, it’s going to be amazing…
This is bliss, lovely,
Jx
I think this may up a bit of a ramble! I’ve watched the videos and they’ve definitely stirred up some ‘thinking’. I’ve read a lot of the comments and my immediate reaction is – seriously, I have nothing to complain about in comparison with some of the really horrible/traumatic/difficult scripts that others have dealt with during their lives. And I feel guilty for thinking that my life could be improved, or needs to be. Ah – guilt. There you have it..guilt because my parents didn’t buy that hotel because of my schooling, didn’t buy that house they loved for ditto reason, stayed together because of me, that my mother found out my father was having an affair because she read my diary (I’d found out) and so that was my fault – she was ill soon after and died 18 months after that. I thought I’d sorted most of this out internally – but I guess maybe I haven’t completely. This whole feeling responsible for things I am not responsible for. It’s risen its head again lately; two of my (adult) kids have become very very very passionate about the BLM movement and are posting voraciously on social media. Another of my kids posts nothing at all about anything (well v rarely) and is simply not invested into it in the same way – not that she doesn’t have sympathy or understanding, she does. But because she isn’t posting black squares or signing petitions or sharing other posts – well – silence means she’s racist. And because I support her right to NOT have to post or be involved, then I am equally damned. Resulting family rift which I find difficult – and I feel responsible; I feel it must be down to me and my failure as a mother. I just want a happy family – why is that so hard. New mantra: ‘My children are old enough to follow their own paths, with my support if they need it. My only responsibility is to my own happiness, not theirs.’ or something like that. But I’ve held in any emotions about the family BLM thing – as I get older I feel that I am protecting myself by – generally – not reacting in extremes to anything or putting myself into a situation where I might be expected to have a reaction or feeling…eg a relationship, which part of me wants, but I back out of even meeting anyone new! Not sure if it’s a lack of self confidence or just lack of interest or fear of what might go wrong. I’m worried that if I sign up to this, I’ll be on a zoom, or reading the FB posts and see everyone having eureka breakthrough moments – reaching the bliss point – and I’ll be sitting here thinking…well I’m not feeling any different at all. Which will make me a) envious and b) depressed. So I am talking myself in and out of it at the moment. On the positive side, the ‘money comes from all directions’ mantra has been tried and a) I won £25 on premium bonds and b) I actually have some potential new business, which considering my business is in travel retail which is DEAD, is no bad thing! There you go, said it would be a ramble. I do wake up every morning and say ‘today is going to be a great day’ and then think ‘as long as nobody mucks it up’ LOL. Well, I feel better for rambling 🙂 Lots of love to you and the family xx
Row,
I love what you say, and the way you say it, and can imagine you saying it.
May I suggest something?
Read what you wrote over and over again…
As fast as you can.
This is your script.
Each part of what you wrote is part of your script…
Even down to the thought that things might not change for you but they would for everyone else.
And seeing that will help you work with your script, but seeing that most of it is scripts
(and that they can be changed, no problem, for me, for you and for everyone else),
J
What great fun John!!
Unfortunatly I won’t be joining you but I really think that this will be a fantastic adventure for all who do.
I totally enjoyed these videos and the revolution really resonates with me (I’m working on my own revolution)
Hope to see you and Gaia again
Best of luck
not that is strange … two Shirley’s in a row !!
Hi Shirley,
It’s lovely to hear from you –
All the best with your revolution 🙂
J
I have really felt the power of these 3 videos. Lately I have had to seek therapy (and medication) to deal with an anxiety disorder many years in the making, but it came to a head earlier this year when our youngest son (age 32) had an accidental overdose (we did not know he had a problem). He is doing better but needs some therapy to figure out how he got there. He is refusing therapy. For myself and the fuck it method, it does help me to practise some of it, but I feel guilty trying to better myself when my son is not living his best life. I am 65 years old, my husband is 70. This has really hit us hard and we feel like our lives have turned upside down. What advice do you have? How does one feel like they “deserve” a good life and to change ways of thinking when your own child is suffering? We do have very good support from our two other adult children. (He is living with one of them at present).
Shirley,
I’m sorry, that is really tough.
Well, you’re doing the right thing in terms of having therapeutic support yourself, and I assume that’s talking therapy. It is important to have someone objective to support you during this.
It’s so hard with our children (and ours are 19 and about to leave home). We can support them as best we can, and, again, yes, therapeutic support is critical for them too. But you say he refuses such support.
But we are all, in the end, responsible for our own welfare. We can help and be helped. But that doesn’t alter the fact that, after a certain age, we are responsible for our welfare. Our children are responsible for theirs, yours for theirs.
And we are responsible for ours. And that includes doing what we need and desire to support ourselves (and that includes being on the path to, and enjoying, happiness).
In terms of the script-thinking around this, you identify what could be the issue – not feeling like you ‘deserve’ a good life… write some new scripts around that.
And it would help too to approach some acceptance of your son’s current state (that doesn’t exclude offering help, as you do) and, this is going to sound weird, but try to respect his path. He is taking his path, with all its twists and turns. But he really is taking his path. You can’t take it for him.
So, yes, as part of a range of support, looking at your scripts, and starting to incorporate new ones, will really help.
All the best Shirley,
John
Hi Shirley, I’m sad to hear your story, I hope he finds his way now. I agree with John, he has his own journey and as a Mum, I feel you. I can’t help thinking that you being in a better place, clearer, less hard on yourself from your own original scripts, happier, softer, stronger might end up being a good thing for him to see, to resonate with. Yours is your own journey too, follow what lights you up. I wish you well with everything xx
John and Gaia:
I love you both; you have helped me tremendously. I LOVE the fuck it revolution. Fuck it, this is bliss!
Love Sandi.
Thanks Sandi,
It is indeed (bliss) 🙂
Love from us,
J&Gx
Fuck it – I am what I am. This one came up for me.
I’ve always felt that simplicity in a so-called, but human-made “complicated world” is the key to the future. These complicated structures have to crumble – Fuck it!
Dave,
I agree.
Everything orientates towards complication because, I think, it’s perceived as more valuable.
Yes, the future is simple 🙂
J
Just got round to watching the videos. I meant to watch them when I received them but believed that I was too busy. Anyway Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much! I have been using the phrase ‘it is what it is’ for a long time and I think it’s helped me.
Hi Kevin,
Yes, ‘it is what it is’ is so powerful. Or, rather it is what it is. For whoever uses it. 🙂
J
Looking forward to this
I have had the strangest loveliest day I have had for months. My problems, challenges and difficulties have not changed. But I have gently floated through the work, caring for my father who has dementia, and everything else feeling peaceful and content thank you for these keys ro our true selves.
Karen,
How beautiful. And a reminder to us all what’s possible.
Thank you for sharing.
J
I love this!
F*ck It! I am what I am!
I am going to accept myself and love myself.
Can’t wait for video 4.
Have a great weekend John & Gaia
Much love,
Gillian xxx
HI Gillian,
Yessssss, that’s beautiful.
And video 4 coming soon (hopefully tomorrow morning as we’re finishing it today).
J
Fuck it, this is bliss.
The anxiety that I’m feeling has dropped a few levels. This *is* bliss.
I feel like I’ve been spinning my wheels for weeks, maybe even months. But now I feel bliss. Blissful drizzle, blissful fish and chips, blissful sitting with my cat.
Ready to integrate these mantras, ready to shed an old skin.
Thanks John x
Kirsty,
That was bliss just reading your message.
I feel it now –
And this is one of the beautiful elements of this – that it’s possible to feel it from someone else’s expression of it –
It will make our ‘celebration’ element even more powerful.
And I love what you say about shedding old skin… you know snakes continue to grow through their whole lives… they can just keep growing (only dependent on diet and environment)… and that’s a beautiful metaphor for us –
to remember that we can simply keep growing and changing through our lives, yes, shedding old skin / scripts as we go. 🙂
J
This is bliss, I have been chasing happiness in my goals but its been the equivalent of chasing the horizon. Happiness, gratitude and satisfaction always felt a 1000 miles away until I got this mantra. Thanks so much John x Gaia, can’t wait for video 4.
In terms of websites, check this one out to see what you like!
Thabo,
It’s totally magical isn’t it?
It’s a strange game this, but it’s taken me about 2 years to get that wording right 🙂
Video 4 coming tomorrow,
J
So these are great and kind of like affirmations? I can see that if I believed them they would work. However I have a a voice in my head that says Bollocks, whenever I try to be too positive and I have never completely managed to shut it up. I go through the motions but there’s a cynic inside me that won’t quit…or that’s how it feels anyway. I always feel like a failure when I try the positive talk stuff because I think my default setting is probably negative. Not saying I won’t give this a go though….
Elaine,
So here’s a reframing of the ‘bollocks’ voice in us.
That we know these mantras / scripts / commands / affirmations are right for us when they create such a reaction.
I would add some small-print to that which is that we need to rationally check that the mantra is fully appropriate and positive for us. They are so powerful that we don’t want to be repeating anything that wouldn’t be healthy.
I say this because, of course, a less healthy mantra might also elicit a strong response.
But we’re after pinpointing the healthy mantras that get at the negative and unhealthy scripts that we’ve absorbed.
I love your last line ‘not saying I won’t give it a go’, your affirmative laden with two negatives 😉
and that may point at the issue…
so, start there…
create a mantra that lays down a positive base –
something like –
I am enjoying finding the scripts that are a balm for my mind, and I know that by using these scripts, change will happen and my thoughts and current scripts will improve and become more positive and generally lead to a gradual but definite improvement in my state of mind and state of life.
J
Lol! I hadn’t noticed how negative my ‘give it a go’ statement was. I am really reluctant amn’t I? Thank you for the thoughtful response.
And I know you Elaine,
your brain has many thoughtful responses,
just needs to take on those unhealthy scripts 🙂
J
So…I thought I had dealt with those scripts. Then a couple of nights ago I woke up at 4am and had a lightbulb moment. I suddenly realised that I had built a defence against the negative scripts from the past and adopted a, “so what if I am selfish, wrong, bad, outspoken don’t go with the flow etc. I don’t care”. This has worked quite well to allow me to be me and silence the inner critic over the years BUT crucially hasn’t replaced his voice with anything positive. In fact I have great difficulty being kind to myself or believing anything good that people say about me. In my gut there’s always a doubt. The defences have only taken me so far and the underlying belief that I am bad is still there so I have been convinced to sign up. Thanks John.
This is profound.
I’d got as far as starting to dismiss all the old scripts but hadn’t got onto writing any new ones…
Well it turns our I didn’t need to as these are brilliant
Powerful video but so relaxing too, will watch again and again.
Very excited about joining the revolution
Sarah,
I’m so glad they work for you.
I can feel both your calm and excitement.
Today we’re busy preparing for the opening of the revolution 🙂
(probably happening tomorrow morning, with a good wind).
J
Saying ‘Fuck it’ is a ticket to freedom. The process strikes me less as one of learning, more as one of ‘un-learning’ which is why the principles can seem obvious. They are! It’s a case of cutting through the noise. Thanks again John for another insightful video.
Best wishes,
Phil
Hey Phil,
It’s very true that there’s a degree of ‘unlearning’ here.
I’ve lived with the echo of T.S.Eliot’s words in my ears for years –
“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.”
J
Hi John, I was a bit surprised that given that I can be quite hard on myself, I have been using 2,3,4,&5 for a while especially since lockdown. No.6 hadn’t yet occurred to me though. Fascinating stuff and inspiring too. Thank you and I’m looking forward to the next video.
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and wisdom John. All three videos have resonated with me, especially number 3. All of the inner messages that you mention, are ones that I recognise in me and which pop up depending on what is going on. I love the mantras that you introduce to create a re-balance. Just by hearing them, I feel more relaxed. However actively practising them and internalising them is something else, and this is where I am looking forward to hearing the final video and to know more about the next step. Its over ten years since I joined my first ‘Fuck it’ week and what I learnt then, still sits with me now and guides mes. I can tell from these recent videos though, that you are taking the learning to the next level. I can’t wait!!
Fuck it this is bliss. Feel liberated already ; )
David,
Yum, it does work doesn’t it?
I’ve used that through some seriously shitty moments and it keeps the part of us that knows everything is okay awake.
J
Hi Amanda,
I’m so pleased you’ve enjoyed and got a lot from the videos, and these ideas.
And yes, it’s in these last 10 years that I’ve been able to test various ideas against the hard realities of life, and some of the shit that life can throw at us.
It’s strange to realise that simply the words we use (to ourselves) can influence our whole state to a huge degree, can get us through tough experiences, can change our biology and influence the course of our lives.
I saw this with two words (‘f**k it’) but in adding these 26 words (yes, I’ve just counted them) our toolbox is vastly larger.
I can’t wait to get going too 🙂
J
Hi John, I love your videos they are very timely. Right now I am tuned into the mantra ‘I can relax now’. All the mantras resonated with me but that one in particular hit home. When I was at school and then later on in llife working in toxic agencies I would always start to relax at 4pm, (the time before 4pm was always spent in a state of high anxiety), Reaching 4pm meant I had survived another day and it would soon be time to go home to sanctuary. But actually it’s okay to say that mantra any time of the day and your video reinforced that for me. Thank you. Alex
Alex,
That’s lovely.
And you can add another one too –
‘I’ve got that 4pm feeling’,
J
My experience of this is that the ideas nothing new, it’s the packaging that’s different. The other thing is that it’s all obvious. What I like about John is the gentleness (he’s the exact opposite of someone like Tony Robbins) and once I got past one of my personal blocks which was ‘it cannot be that simple’ I found it IS easy, all I need is reminding. So even after practicing this for more than 10 years, I’m still wanting to sign up for the monthly sessions.
Hey Brendan,
It will be a joy to have you on the F.It Revolution, you’ll be a big part of it, just like you were on TTT.
And I just had an image, of lots of people with big beards (like you) gathered around the future site of Stonehenge…
and one of the bearded fellas has brought one of his disbelieving bearded mates from a distant land (Bath) and shows him how they can lift up a gigantic stone with a simple lever. It looks so simple, but it’s like a miracle.
And talking of miracles, I’m guessing that Jesus was good at the old trance thing too, in order to achieve some of those miracles. I’ve seen the water into wine trick several times from stage hypnotists.
So, the mantras are magic-like levers and the truth is that our minds are magic-like levers… apply pressure in just the right places, and off we go.
It’s like the story of the plumber who came round to fix a heating problem… looked at the whole system, all the pipes (guess who’s not a plumber here), then just got out a hammer and tapped one pipe at one point, and the whole thing is working again. He then charges £200 for the service. The customer then wonders why it’s £200 just to tap something with a hammer, just a few minutes of work.
He replies that they’re not paying for the hammer tapping but 40 years of experience of knowing where to tap. 🙂
J
Had a second go looking at the video. It is a practice a relaxed state of mind.
It is indeed James,
A revolution partly from relaxation
J
Using that wonderful phrase from Video 2 has already begun a transformation in my mental state. I am very aware of the endless streaming of old verbal ‘tapes’ . Thankyou so much, really keen for Video 3
Hi Suzanne,
That’s wonderful.
And you have another five waiting for you in Video 3, which went live just after you posted this 🙂
J
The second video helped to relax and to let go and see more options in this anxious moments. I don’t have any money or a place. But I am more open. I want to go with flow. I don’t want to fight life. At the beginning I was like I want my life as it was before covid. But after the video is like well you know let’s see. Next week I am going to Portugal to stay with my family.
Now there’s another bit that has to do with unhealthy eating. I can’t say fuck it. I feel a lot of stress, guilt and shame all day about that. They used to call me bad mouth when I was a kid because I didn’t like anything.
Thank you very much John, this is very helpful. I can’t wait to see the next one.
Hi Andrea,
Thanks so much for your message.
Yes, let’s see, I like that… and you’ll find at least one more mantra in the next video that really resonates given what you’ve said.
All the best Andrea,
J
Thank you John. I have tried a few healing mantras o we the past few years and still find myself stuck. I’ve become very depressed because it seems no matter what I try nothing changes for me. I shall however try what you suggest.
Tanya,
The trick with any script / mantra / affirmation is to pinpoint what’s really getting stuck in the mind…
What are the true negative scripts that are holding you back or infecting your experience of reality.
You’ll see in video 3 how the six mantras I’m suggesting are based on pinpointing the six key struggle areas.
So that’s why we work through them systematically, though it’s likely that one or two will particularly resonate for us at the beginning.
And for you, you can start with that script about ‘no matter what I try nothing changes for me’.
That in itself is holding you back.
So you could start with this.
Something like –
‘I am changing all the time. That’s life. And by using the right mantras I will be able to nudge that natural change in a consistently positive direction’.
Just say that 10 times each morning,
Then join us on the longer journey if you fancy.
J
Thankyou for both your videos John. The second health related one really hit home as I have been experiencing increasing wrist pain and numbness during lockdown and it has been causing considerable physical and psychological discomfort. just been given 3 possible diagnoses from the hospital – which have added to my concern. So armed with some physio exercises and the powerful and timely Fuck it – it doesnt matter so much” script -I realise that I can take a leaf out of your (many) books – and choose to be happy despite the diagnoses!!! Ps i love the hypnotic music in the background of the second video and your paced delivery.
Thanks Maya,
And with your wrist, yes, do the physio, but also do some qigong –
imagine the qi flowing up from the other wrist, up through your arm, over your shoulders, then down into that wrist.
Then you can join the energy from wrist directly across to wrist,
so you get a big circle.
Then try to feel that flowing as a circle.
That should work wonders.
J
Thanks so much John for the F**k it physio qi gong tip. Ill try it in the park later. Do.i.do it with anynqi gong movements or just in standing posture?
You can even do it sitting. Anytime anyplace.
I’ve just been doing it here at my desk.
Standing would be fab too though.
J
Thank you. This has come at a time when life is confusing and my path uncertain in the aftermath of much trauma. I am at a stage where I am slowly re-building myself ‘back to me’. Writing my scripts down brought tears to my eyes and were actually very hard to do and I could feel the resistance! Write I told myself!!
I will share a few
You look like a whore
You are not clever enough
You can’t do that
Why do you want to do that?
You are a disappointment
You let people down
You’re not good enough
I tell myself now that I am disappointing and why try something when I’m bound to fail. That my life will never be as good as before. I always make the wrong decisions so I don’t trust my judgement.
I am incredibly good at motivating others and helping people get their business together, mostly people are astonished that I earn a minimum wage when I speak 3 languages, articulate and bright. I generally find it uncomfortable and think that isn’t me. This is one of things I am trying to change.
So thank you John for helping me on this journey of rediscovery!
Hi Rachie,
Well done for getting those down,
and it’s always tough to realise the harsh strength of these.
So you’ve done that and you express a good deal of self-worth in that sentence about being incredible good at motivating others…
So start there, work on that sentence, without the minimum wage bit 🙂
Something like –
I am bright and articulate, I speak 3 languages and I’m incredibly good at motivating others and helping people get their business together. People appreciate me and my skills.
Oh and try this –
I love and approve of myself.
If you cry over that, great, it’s working.
Keep saying it.
J
Woah great timing for me…. thanks John (love the art t shirt – yeah baby this shit IS art!)
So back to the start, these are mostly my father’s some my Mums :
Little bitch/little bastard
Its all your fault
You made your Mother cry/ be sick/been sick since the day you were born
How DARE you
You will never amount to anything
You never finish anything
Your so boring
Your so useless
Your SUCH a disappointment
Why cant you be NORMAL
As Im growing these ones were added in:
Its all wasted on you
Why cant you just be logical?
Why cant you stand up for yourself
Why do you always have to defend the indefensible?
You’ll never earn enough money to live on and you’ll never marry someone who will earn enough money to take care of you so I’ll have to do it.
The best thing I can hope for you is that you meet a man with a strong back hand
Its a miracle you never killed anyone
Your mad ( get out of jail free card)
Background mirroring from sister, friends, foes, school bullies and neighbours
Whats she done/said NOW?
She’s wierd
she’s a phyco
she’s mad
she’s not all there
she’s dangerous
she’s saaaaaaaaaaaaaaad ( sad)
nobody likes her
she doesn’t fit in her
she’s not a good/nice person
don’t be fooled by her smile
stupid cunt
silly cow
THAT woman\HORRIBLE WOMAN
BITCH!!!!!
how DARE you/she
you’ll never settle down
you’ll never grow up
Dominating
spoilt
intimidating
evil
witch
WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?
Thanks John
Have read your books and they have helped, but my perfectionist personality and people pleasing has helped me self sabotage so great to be going back to the beginning. Am tense because can’t relax being me because of my scripts.
Don’t be stupid. (My father) reinforced by teachers as I was the youngest in the class so too immature to be in top set. Then abusive husband.
You can’t do that
You’re weird
You’re too loud
You’re laugh is too loud
When my mum packed her bags I begged her to stay, in the end she said she would but not for me. Hence I am not loveable enough or worth it
You are an embarrassment.
I ended up with M.E because I subconsciously believe life or rather being me is too stressful especially the thought of failure and ridicule let alone abandonment or rejection. That was 20 years ago. I have done loads of work on myself and improved a lot but still not there yet. Your Fuck it books were pivotal in helping me shift, so thank you and looking forward to the next videos to get me on track.
Samantha,
Well, in a more literal sense, who do you think you are? 🙂
Start with “I am…” and off you go.
Not what other people think you are. What you think you are. Don’t stop yourself. Contradictions are fine.
Write away.
Find out who you think you are –
Then turn it into a positive and affirmative (relatively short) script to repeat to yourself 10 times every day.
J
Your dad was the only cunt in all of this. You being here is inspirational ❤️
🙂
Wow – the comments and replies here are very reassuring. I have been “reinventing” myself over the last few years (or maybe it’s recovering?), with the aid of a wonderful counsellor, fabulous partner and Fuck It! Hit a low ebb in lock down recently and the old scripts I now realise had crept back in, or at least I am finding myself with the same feelings I had before I was able to ditch the fear. I feel more equipped to deal with it on one level given who I am now, but it’s still hard. This has really helped. Thank you John and thanks everyone for sharing
Thank you John.
Anything that’s arisen through lockdown is perfectly natural, it’s shaken everyone.
Remember that, with the great work you’re doing, with support, it’s not possible to go back…
It’s not a linear line that we scoot along, then slip back.
Even when some of the feelings are familiar, or you revisit some old material, or you hear some similar voices.
You’re in a different place now, and your consciousness has changed.
Lastly, you look at those words ‘reinventing’ or ‘recovering’, maybe ‘uncovering’… you’re probably finding the true you under some of the adapted parts, which is more Gaia’s work than mine – but the process is usually scratching away at the things we’ve done to survive, the ways we’ve responded just to keep going, and seeing what’s underneath that…
so, yes, ‘uncovering’, as in removing the cover we’ve put on ourselves.
J
Oh thank you. I was feeling really low the last couple of days, everything felt insurmountable and hopeless. Lockdown is getting exhausting. I was feeling very unloved and unlovable, lot of scripts there. The first video was huge, like pressing a reset button, suddenly hope and ideas started sprouting. I’ve felt much better since and pleased I have the next couple of videos to walk me through the next couple of days. Mantras ready to go on the wall. Thank you John, v much.
Thank you Janet,
I’m pleased to hear the hope and ideas are with you.
And we’ll have the next video with you soon (hopefully tomorrow afternoon) – Arco and I have been working on it all day (which in itself is a lovely process, to be working alongside one of my sons like this is beautiful).
Lockdown has, and is, tough. We’ve all been feeling it.
Great you have those mantras ready… and 5 more fantastic ones to come in this next video…
And if you don’t have this already –
Just reading what you said – try –
‘I am loved and loveable.’
J
hi john-
thanx for this new tool in my toolbox of progress,not perfection…
my script is mostly around pushing my wife away when she only wants to help, and in worrying too much about how others will react to projects i’ve done. i have been using the mantra you’ve offered, and i believe just keeping the thought in my conciousness can help turn this part of my life around.
otherwise,pretty good
cheers
randy
Randy,
And five more mantras coming tomorrow in the next video.
Which, if I were of a mind, I could fit to the various tools in a toolbox –
But I’d be giving away what they are.
Let’s leave these new tools in their wrappers for now, and you can unwrap them tomorrow.
All the best in your progress,
J
Hi John
Thanks so much for the 2nd video ❤️
Interestingly saying -‘Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much’ and even ‘it doesn’t matter SO much’ – in my head is very difficult, and feels like a lie. But when I speak it OUT LOUD it really does feel that it could actually be true… and even makes grin!
Lots of love – as ever xxxxx
That’s a very interesting observation. I have found it difficult to believe the mantra too. I shall try speaking it out loud. Thank you for sharing that.
So glad my comment was helpful to you… onward and upward!!
Thanks both,
You’ve reminded me that I must make a note in one of the emails (as I’ve not included this in the videos)…
But it’s really good when your head reacts and you don’t believe it.
The fact that there’s a reaction means you’re hitting the spot.
As long as you can logically see that there’s sense to what you’re saying to yourself –
Then it will go in, gradually, and do its work.
What do I mean by that?
Well, if you see that most things you worry about don’t actually matter SO much,
if you can see that, and you can see that it applies to pretty much everything…
then go ahead and say it and say it and say it…
then just notice the reaction, the ‘of course it bloody well does’ of your brain…
and that reaction slowly falls away.
It depends on the mantra of course how these work,
But imagine saying ‘I approve of myself, just as i am’.
Logically you can probably see that that’s a good idea to say and believe that, no matter what.
But most of us would get a heck of a reaction when we say that,
Especially if we say it around the time that we’re beating ourselves up for something.
But say it, get the reaction, notice the reaction, say it again, and it starts to work like a magical balm. Yum.
J
So video 2 is timely for me I have fallen down a depressive hole over and over during the last few months, and when it’s not depression it’s anxiety. That’s in spite of the more or less daily meditation, a bit of yoga ,being in Gaia’s group and employing every other strategy I know to try and stay sane. I think ‘Fuck it! It doesn’t matter so much’ could be most useful with anxiety because when I am feeling anxious EVERYTHING matters FAR TOO MUCH…and I lose all sense of proportion and balance. I am also paralysed by indecision and just want to freeze and do nothing…not a good life strategy. Will try this out over the next few days and see if it helps.
Hey Elaine,
I’m sorry it’s been tough.
It sounds like that one will help with the anxiety, yes.
Truth is, very little of it matters so much.
Drop me an email and I’ll send you something that’s not quite finished, but i think you’ll enjoy (please say ‘John, you said you’d send me the FIIDMSM gift).
And you can play with the other five mantras from the next video (tomorrow) too,
Lastly, if freeze is an issue, just find simple ways to make small movements… I mean that literally (like short walks) and in terms of making little decisions and small steps of progress. That’s what i do if I feel the freeze coming on, I gently shake everything in my life to keep warm.
J
Too quiet, too sensitive. Not cheerful enough. A school report said I was “easily led by others”. Amazing how these things stick years and years on…………..
I am finding saying “f… it, it doesn’t matter so much, and “I am what I am” really empowering , I though saying them 100 times a day sounded excessive but this has made me notice that the negative thoughts sneak in nearly all the time. It is wonderful to have something quick to counteract them with.
Thanks, John and everyone for the comments. This is indeed a revolution. I’ve felt moved to do some ironing this morning and am going out to forage for Garibaldis now. Eccles cakes are also on the agenda (again).
Sarah,
Eccles cakes, oh, Eccles cakes, how much would I love one now –
sitting here in roasting Italy, with only a few fresh and tasty tomatoes in my belly.
Ha, I love what you say about having something quick to counteract those negative thoughts –
You’re anticipating tomorrow’s video nicely 🙂
You know what’s coming in terms of the mantras but you’re going to see a mass of psychological underpinning to those mantras tomorrow.
I’m constantly on the lookout for how to turn around any of those scripts…
Even the ‘easily led by others’, I’ve just switched for myself to ‘easily led by qi’, which I am, or ‘easily led by life-force’. Feel the force and follow it Luke,
J
Hi John – so great to `see’ you again! I loved your two videos, watched back-to-back. I found myself nodding my head, getting quite emotional at times, thoughts buzzing all around my head, then feeling elated at the prospect of repeating your mantra which makes incredible sense. It is SO good to have a reminder of how good saying Fuck It really is. Mind, I do use it a lot throughout my life.
I’m going to give your suggestions a go. That elusive true love still hasn’t come to the fore but you know, fuck it, I have a great life. A fabulous life, amazing friends, fantastic health. Holding on so tightly to this ultimate dream is suffocating so “Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much”. Can’t wait for the next video of the 6 steps to your revolution. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for reminding me of all this.
By the way, you look amazingly well Xx
Hey Lisa,
Thank you so much for your message –
And I’m so chuffed you’re getting a lot from these –
The next one (tomorrow hopefully, we’ve not quite finished it yet) gives a whole load of background and with those other fab mantras.
Have a go at an ‘I am…’ mantra / affirmation. And include your true love aspiration in there, but with a very gentle take on it….
So you could start from that wonderfully affirming sentence you wrote for example –
‘I am enjoying my fabulous life, amazing friends, fantastic health, and beaming my own love out there, knowing that the vibration will be matched by just the right person at just the right time.’
That kind of thing. 🙂
J
When I was about 6 0r 7 my dad got a job which meant he worked away from home. ‘Well-meaning’ relatives said things like “You’ll have to be the man of the house” and 2You need to take care of your mum”. As a fucking child ???????
But somehow it got so deeply embedded that I’ve spent my working life in the caring professions. In itself that’s not a bad thing, but underlying that is the need to be responsible, and never to admit weakness. And Never Ever to put myself first.
Listening to these videos makes me think about how can I resign from responsible positions and enjoy running and dancing like my child should have done years ago.
Tyagi,
Oh yeesss, that sounds wonderful… .to be connecting with that child before the weight of responsibility landed.
Gaia has been teaching recently (in her F**k It Be You University membership) about just what you’re talking about…
and how to mix vulnerability with powerfulness.
If you send me an email (eff-it-living@outlook.com) and say ‘John, you said you’d send me some of Gaia’s material on The Helper’, I will.
J
Dear John,
I love your newsletters and videos.
Low self esteem has always been an under current in my life although I’m not really sure why?
Also I’ve realized recently that I give too much of myself and because of this I perhaps expect too much from the people I love and there fore am often let down and easily wounded which in turn feeds my feelings of being unloved. Yesterday I read a quote that said ‘ you can’t read the label when you’re inside the bottle’ – I don’t want to be in the bottle anymore! I want to have peace of mind, appreciate what I have and stop looking for perfection in myself and others.
F**k It I have a lot to be thankful for!!
Thank you X
Courgette,
I’ve wandered down backwards through the comments this evening…
Which means yours is the last one.
Because I can see I replied to those below you.
Which feels like this is now a courgette sandwich. 🙂
Yes, I understand what you say… and I reckon you need to feel your right to have needs, and have those needs fulfilled by those around you and those who love you.
So start with this –
‘I matter and my needs matter’.
Then move onto ‘I listen to my needs and know they are important whatever others say or do’.
Then move onto ‘I’m happy to express my needs, it is my right, as I matter’.
Happy playing.
You matter,
J
Thank you John. I hadn’t even thought to say ‘ I matter’ as I was convinced I didn’t as far as certain loved ones were concerned!
I also quite like being a courgette sandwich as the filling is full of goodness x
Hi John
Thank you for sharing these videos. I struggle with social phobia and a constant feeling of inadequacy due to it. I desperately want to feel truly relaxed around people but the moment a social event emerges on the horizon my stomach starts to churn and I feel panic in my heart. I have tried CBT a couple of times and often take beta blockers to try to reduce the adrenalin. I have an event to go to in a month’s time. I am hoping these videos will help.
Hi,
Yes, use the mantra in the second video to realise that such things don’t matter so much.
Watch some Ricky Gervais too… why? Because he talks a lot about not caring… “I don’t care”, which suggests he was a man who once did, and still, at times, does.
I’ve worked with many people over the years using hypnotherapy to help with such anxiety, so look up a local hynotherapist.
And remember that this is something that will certainly improve with the right approach (for you),
J
I loved video 2. It reminded me of the true FUCK IT feeling I got when I first read your first book. I think it’s time to read again.
I call it “finding the fuck it bucket” when I’m feeling it strongly 🙂
Here’s my desire, putting it out there for the world:
I want a beautiful, healthy baby with my wonderful husband.
— fuck it, it doesn’t matter SO much about it happening quickly. It’ll happen one way or another, one day.
I want fulfilling, remote work for us so we can spend more time with our family in Italy and Spain
–fuck it, it doesn’t matter SO much, we can travel regularly for now and still be very happy together.
Kirsty,
They’re beautiful beautiful scripts, totally lovely.
It’s funny what you say about the first book, I’ve had a very natural process over lockdown of connecting with that period when F**k It landed in our laps and I wrote that book.
I’m generally an excited chappie, but I am overflowing with the excitement of this new expression of F**k It –
It’s directly connected with the… well, you put it perfectly… the FEELING of that period 15 years ago… but with the extra wisdom and learning of working with it for this long.
Okay, here we go –
I am totally loving being connected to the core feeling of F**k It and sharing this with the world so others can connect with the same feeling and bring freedom and joy into their lives and so that we can all thoroughly enjoy being ourselves and being alive.
I’ll need the script doctor (me, later) to refine that, but that’s the ballpark,
Thanks Kirsty,
J
“What do you do for an encore?”
One of my mother’s sayings .. which always makes me laugh!
Nicola,
What an expression that is…
Though it got me thinking, literally, what would I do for an encore, for anything else…
And I came to the conclusion that I’d get everyone in the room / crowd to, on the count of three, shout ‘F**K ITTTT’, which is what we’ve done for years at the end of retreats & workshops.
J
John,
After watching your 2nd video, I also remembered my first Fuck it book, and I was surprised that time passed so quickly.10 years ago I read it the first time and felt that everything you wrote was right for me.Then I made a decision: I wanted to find out everything that kept me from being happy and healthy and loved and change all parts of my life I didn’t want. And I tried so hard. I tried to learn to relax, to meditate, etc. ..I tried and tried and after all this struggle I was so tired . And although a lot has changed for the better, I am still tired and exhausted.
Thank you so much for remembering me: Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much!
Thanks, Susanne
Susanne,
Yes, this is true.
Keep saying it and sit back into the reality that life is a constant flow of all stuff.
It is what it is.
Though sitting back like this, accepting more, still changes both the perception of the stuff, and the stuff itself 🙂
J
Thank you so much for sharing this, John. I really needed to be reminded to do this! Very much looking forward the next video.
Thanks Jacky,
The next one is full-on, brace yourself 🙂
J
Thanks for the videos John. I love the comments and replies – so much wisdom just on this page.
Self-doubt is a biggie. This leads to analysis-paralysis and the loss of many opportunities. The lack of faith/confidence in oneself transmits to others who then shy away from you. This results in more self-hate…and so it goes on…
Thanks again.
Bharat,
Thanks for expressing that about this page –
I totally agree and have been thinking the same.,
totally wowed by what’s coming up down here below the line.
So what’s going to be your new script to deal with the self-doubt thing?
I’d love to hear.
I do a massive explanation of how the whole thing can work in video 3 (which we’re currently in the mammoth process of putting together as there’s a lot to it), so that will help too… that it’s not just about repetition of the new scripts (though that is a major part of it).
Thanks again for what you’ve contributed,
J
Hi John,
Possible new scripts:
I LOVE AND APPROVE OF MYSELF. MY CONFIDENCE AND FAITH DRAW THE RIGHT THINGS AND PEOPLE TO ME AT THE RIGHT TIME.
I want people to love and respect me – FUCK IT – IT DOESN’T MATTER SOOO MUCH
Beautiful.
J
Wow, John! Thanks so much for this video (which I nearly didn’t watch because I thought it was going to be boring). At some point in watching it, I ‘got’ Fuck It at a deeper level than before. It made me brave enough to do a couple of things I’d been dreading, and which turned out not to matter that much… but then it somehow just went unfolding. I got a clear sense of how much our scripts, good and bad, and wherever they come from, make up the entire landscape of our lives. Now it’s like I’m at the edge of a cliff – there is no landscape in front of me. My thoughts haven’t stopped or any mystical stuff like that, but they’re like a herd of little animals at the cliff edge, scurrying about with nowhere to go. I can see that, at the everyday level we live in, I am entirely made up. I’m sitting on the bed with my mind blown. What happens next? It seems crass to just create a new improved version of ‘me’. Maybe I just step forward and create a new landscape as I go? Fuck it, I might just have a cuppa and see what happens next… And thanks again! Definitely NOT boring!
Liz,
wow wow wow wow,
wow.
That is f**king fantastic.
Yes, mind-blowing.
This stuff feels a little bit like in the Matrix, when you see the code behind everything…
You’ve had a full on epiphany there –
And I think your idea of just having a cuppa and seeing what happens next is a very good idea.
The little animals will continue to scurry, but you have an entirely fresh perspective.
You know they say –
Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.
After enlightenment… chop wood, carry water.
(which is basically how you make tea too I suppose, chop the wood, carry the water, burn the wood to heat the water, and drop a tea bag in there, and Bob is your enlightened uncle) 🙂
J
British Zen – Boil water, dunk tea bag
Lovely.
Revolutionary biscuits of Italy, rise up out of your box! You have nothing to lose but your wafers.
(Alexi SAYLE)
Sanity is overrated.
Me.
Hey Me,
What a legacy. To be remembered only as the name of a biscuit – for Brits at least – poor old Gari.
I wonder what other distorted legacies we could initiate through merchandising of bland everyday things.
It’s the new DARWIN ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH, a true EVOLUTION in dental care.
Einstein’s fruitcake. Churchill Insurance, was that named after someone then?
Eisenhower Wholemeal Flour (it rhymes).
The Dickens Duffle coat (it keeps you warm in a Victorian winter).
I must stop now (traffic lights become known as ‘Freddie Mercurys’, because… well, you know).
J
Once an adman, always an adman.
Same is true of madman.
🙂
I love this thank you for sharing
🙂
Great video, so many childhood scripts about accepting a humdrum life, don’t be a dreamer. Now as an adult I get, confrontational, rude when I’m just being authentic. My parents had completely opposing views on money, my Dad a miser, my Mum a spendthrift – I’ve battled with my relationship with money my whole life. Ready to write a new script for the next chapter..
I was hoping to write a humorous comment but Fuck It, it really doesn’t matter so much…
You’re right,
I’ll have a go,
errmmmm,
no, nothing,
and it doesn’t matter so much 🙂
Hi Anne,
Yes, it’s exciting isn’t it –
seeing these things, then getting to rewrite it,
I’m calling part of what this thing will be…
‘Revolutionary Script Doctoring’ because that’s what we’re doing –
sending the experts script-writers in to sort our wonky scripts 🙂
J
Very generous of you to share your intellectual content
Mostly though it is your sweet heart that grabs me
Your friend James
Thank you James.
Love to you,
J
Hi John, I particularly enjoyed video 2. I applied your ‘Fuck it – it doesn’t matter so much’ approach to some of my own problems and experienced an immediate ‘lifting of the weight’ just as you did. Quite an antidote to the usual self -help idea that things have to be ‘fixed’. As Charles Bukowski’s epitaph reads – ‘Don’t try!’
Best wishes, Phil
Hey Phil,
That’s funny, I was listening to some Charles Bukowski in bed last night 🙂
Yes, it’s interesting what you’re saying about ‘fixing’… we were filming the next video yesterday and I do talk about ‘change’ in that, but the change is mainly back to where we should be, by balancing some of the ‘do this, do that, be this, be that, always push, never be still’ voices that inhabit our heads.
J
Letting go of my deceased parents clutter and objects that have no sentimental value …fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much. The stress this has caused me has been terrible. Hopefully I can get through the rest of the items with less stress.
I hope so too.
All the best, that is always a distressing (for so many reasons) process.
J
A patient of mine turned me onto your first book and it made me smile and smile and smile. I was working as an RN in an addiction treatment recovery center for women and children. Your work and sharing still makes me smile. I deeply appreciate what you and Gaia bring to the world. Best blessings
Thank you Brenda,
And to bring a smile (and a smile and a smile) to your and others’ face makes my heart warm –
J
Great vid John.
– it’s want want want, all the time
– you always need to be centre of attention
– you’re just like your dad (this was the stinger)
– you little madam
– you’re running me into an early grave
Ouch hey.
The link between this and how I behave in adult life is so tangible – I can see / feel it.
Hi Stella,
Oh, what you say in your last line hits home too,
As doing this work over the last couple of works has really brought something home very strongly for me too –
The link between myscripts and something I do every day.
(You can ask Gaia what it is I’m talking about 🙂 ),
The great thing is that we’re now shining our lights on these things, and the movement begins.
J
when I said those words to myself: f**k it doesn’t matter so much. my body released all the tension, a smile on my face and I felt peaceful, thank you
A warm, fuzzy feeling inside, one of LOVE and ACCEPTANCE – for MYSELF I believe! Thank you for your gift 🙂
Jools,
That’s beautiful.
Yes, I’m sure for yourself.
J
Marvellous,
And that’s brought a smile to my face, as a fizzing sense of relaxation too,
J
Thanks John, interesting stuff. I shall be reflecting on my scripts around money, and achieving what I want!
Sandra,
That’s a pleasure, and then video 2 is good on getting what you want 🙂
J
Just watched vid 2 – going to be saying Fuck it! It doesn’t matter so much a heck of a lot as I love to beat myself up for not yet having managed to achieve… living more rurally; earning from doing things I want to do; turning myself into the “guide on the side” that I’ve carried for at least 10 years; finding the stories that are for me to work with; detached from the jobs that earn money but don’t feed my soul… looking forward to watching number 3 next xx
Winning the jackpot. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much.
Having a dog. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much.
Being appreciated. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much.
Having an electric Brompton bicycle. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much.
Having a camper van. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much.
Having a new Samsung smart phone. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much.
Having the house and garden renovated. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much.
Being a famous and talented actor. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much.
Being loved, adored, honoured and respected. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much.
Being popular. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much.
Being a sort after artist. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much.
Being valued by my family. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much.
Having my teeth straightened and repaired. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much.
Having a soul mate. Fuck it, it doesn’t matter so much.
Love from Andrea.
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.
Love this, made me smile, good luck with your fuck it journey
Andrea,
Beautiful.
And there’s a subtly different way of saying ‘it doesn’t matter so much’ too…
if you emphasise the ‘so’ in a big way, it reminds us that these things can still matter,
just not SOOOO much.
The truth is, some things really DON’T matter.
But that some things DO.
It’s just that they don’t matter SO much to make us sick with worry, or tight and brittle with ambition, or sleepless with longing.
I just read your words again too –
Like a poem of self-realisation wisdom,
J
Dear John,
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
I have spent decades with a dream so similar to your own…..having a healing retreat center in Italy! I always imagine it on the Amalfi coast. I see myself there up on a hilltop overlooking the water. I am a spiritual medium, counselor and healer and love the work BUT, my attitude towards money is rooted in my childhood in Scotland. We were a poor family and money was always an issue. The script was always negative and I own it to this day. Whilst looking at your video and applying the “fuck it” principle to the issue, I suddenly felt a huge bubble flowing upwards from my root chakra and releasing from my my throat area. I instantly knew that this is a powerful process and will keep you informed of my progress. I thank you for your generosity of Spirit and look forward to your next video.
Isabella,
That is beautiful process, wow.
Just sit with that feeling for a while (I know you know that).
And, for a retreat, no need to buy one… just use existing retreat centres to do your thing.
Look up ‘Villa Marsi’, that’s the one we originally set up, and it’s where we still run some of our retreats (but without running it!).
J
A beautiful process indeed and I thank you for facilitating the release.
I know that everything happens for a reason and I really needed to hear the words about “doing my thing” using existing retreat centers. From your lips to God’s ears.
It would appear that you have the beautiful gift, and heart, to inspire.
Namaste
🙂
Ha, and just to say –
We’re about to set out to visit ‘The Hill That Breaths’ / ‘Villa Marsi’ for the first time in eight months (to clear out some of our old stuff).
I’ll whisper your Italian name ‘Isabella Randazzo’ to the trees so they get to hear about you. 🙂
J
I had visited “The Hill That Breathes” website a few years back, after being introduced to it through the Barefoot Doctor site, and absolutely loved the place! The dome had me captivated and I felt that “one of these days” I’d visit and dissolve into the bliss…….
I’m sure you and your family have many beautiful memories there and I trust that you will enjoy many, many more.
Namaste
Oh, and please do whisper my name to the trees……I am so grateful for your kind heart.
Your name was whispered 🙂
And a breeze blew through the trees in response.
🙂
Thank you John. I think there can be a lot of tension in really wanting something. It brings up a lot of anxiety. One of my scripts was ‘I want doesn’t get’. Wanting anything badly felt and feels dangerous. So I like this idea of letting it go. I can really want something but be really OK with where I am at the moment.
Joanna,
Yes, it’s a really interesting one this isn’t it?
That tireless determination to achieve can certainly work with many things but it always has a tension around it and leads to exhaustion (and, often, dodgy character traits).
As you say, it ‘feels dangerous’. It is.
The trick is how to hold a desire for something without the tightness.
And you’ve hit it with your last sentence there – to want something but, at the same time, be okay with where we are.
This is hard for many people to get, but is a real trick to delicious manifestation.
J
When I was growing up my father worked shifts and my brothers were very ill as a result mum was pretty stressed so it was all about being quiet, not bothering people with questions or problems so I tried to be as invisible as possible. Be good be quiet don’t argue, so I emersed myself in the world of books. I became pretty self reliant which was good, but not able to talk over problems, seek advice or ask for help.
Listening to your video I realise I am still living by my childhood scripts which are really not helping with the situation I find myself in at present. Thank you for that lightbulb.
Karen
Your comments resonated with me – I lost my mother when I was 6 so it was my father who was stressed as he struggled to bring up two young girls on his own. Like you, I tried to be a ‘good’ girl, and turned to books for comfort and solace. I prided myself on being independent but find it hard (even impossible) to turn to others for help – only when I am about to go under, do I approach others.
Thanks for sharing your story
Caroline
HI Caroline,
Thank you for sharing too.
Have a read of what I answered to Karen.
And I’d suggest doing the same… creating a new script for yourself that involves recognising your needs and your right to ask for help to have your needs supported.
J
Karen,
Thanks for sharing –
Yes – Gaia’s main work is around this – how we adapt as young ones to the situation and the mode of nurturing of our environment become ingrained patterns and habits (they’re called ‘adaptive’ or ‘survival’ mechanisms).
There are actually 5 of these adaptive patterns.
And you’re seeing how these patterns are still present, but not serving you now.
So you could develop some scripts to help you now…
Scripts that balance what you learnt, and that are more reflective of the truth of the adult environment.
For example, they might be something like –
I matter and my needs matter. I can’t do everything on my own, so I’m learning to share my vulnerability and ask for help when I need it. I know that this is perfectly natural, that no one is an island, and that I and those around me will grow as a result of me expressing my needs more.
J
Fuck it; enjoy it; this is bliss!
Thank you!
Pleasure,
It is
🙂
J
Hi, John – I loved this video – thank you. Growing up, I never had any bad scripts from my parents. They were the most loving, positive and supportive parents I could ever have wished for. I love life.The negative scripts that have crept up on me over the years have come from me and I know they are the reason I have always struggled with the two banes of my life; my weight and money. I am seriously overweight and have an IVA. To me, the two are interlinked. Food and money can both can be the source of emotional unrest, stress and misery and yet, both have been the source of utmost joy.
So, time to change the script. I have started writing some down and each one applies to food and money at the same time. Next year, I am 60. My goal is to be free of the negative, embedded scripts and live by the new, positive ones. I am hopeful that changes will naturally come along as a result of these new scripts and I am looking forward to them.
Bless you x
Claire,
That is a beautiful process you’re going through.
It’s certain that changes will naturally occur from using your new scripts.
That’s like a natural law 🙂
I wish you well on this journey,
And a Happy 60th for next year.
J
For goodness sake child smile. No one is interested in your problems.
You should’ve been blonde.
You’re so boring.
Don’t be so stupid.
Grow up.
No one respects a fool.
You need to see a psychiatrist.
You’re getting fat.
Pull your stomach in.
You’re a girl you can’t do that.
On and on ……….
Thank you for sharing Gill,
And it’s always strong seeing these in black and white (in this case red and white) isn’t it Gill?
Just the first one – I got a lot of that – such toxic messages.
J
Hi John. Thank you for this, great to understand and also have tools on how we can start re-setting what we tell ourselves and realising our true possibilities.
Throughout my primary school years (& early years of secondary) I had a lot of ‘Melanie won’t achieve’, ‘she will struggle at senior school’, she won’t make it if we put her in the lead role in a play and I think the fact my parents strangely repeated to me the messages without disputing them or challenging them, I guess they re-inforced them for me. Even later on when did achieve it was ‘ why didn’t I do better’!
I believe I have trying to burst through a big source of power which at times has won through with what I have achieved so far and pushed myself to do, which is great, just that I think it has always been a battle between the script I grew up with and somewhere inside a different one. Self-doubt is always there, like a little demon and now that I am wanting to aim for bigger things, the doubt and my script to myself of ‘you’re not really going to achieve that’ & you’ll never really get there’ seem stronger voices. Something feels like it is changing – I am getting angry with the old script. It is so overdue for the new script to quash the old! Thank you.
Melanie,
Ahh, that’s brilliant, I love your process.
And good to feel the anger too.
So here’s something to help with the self-doubt. Well two things.
Gaia has been talking a lot recently in her F**k It Be You University about how to mix being powerful with being vulnerable, and that they can go hand in hand.
So try to sit that vulnerable self-doubting voice next to the stronger confident voice. LIke they’re going out into the world hand-in-hand.
The other thing is a view I have around doubt, the same as I have around stress…
I ask ‘is there anything I need to learn here’.
So stress often has a point… sometimes it’s ‘stop doing this’, so I listen to that.
Self-doubt might have a point too (for example, ‘maybe I need to refine that area of my skills now’).
So both ideas here somehow take the hand of self-doubt, so you can walk with it, but are not led by it.
🙂
J
Thank you, so amazing and inspiring listening to you.
Mine, the one I heard a lot or saw written: can do better
and some more
beautiful from afar but far from beautiful
stand still
don’t cry
Thanks for sharing Marie,
I can feel that life-force wanting to burst out from those –
i WILL move, I WILL cry, I will do as I do and that’s just perfect. 🙂
J
Thank you for the lovely video John! I watched it yesterday and twice today for it to really sink in…it’s profound!
Some of my most damaging scripts:
– You haven’t got any friends
– You’re hopeless socially
– You’re going to end up being a very boring person
– We didn’t send you to the best schools so you could…(insert job I actually enjoyed)
– Most people (insert opposite of what I do/like/am etc.)
Looking forward to Part 2!
Thanks for the really helpful video John. Some of the scripts I have about money are from my upbringing and a lifetime career in public sector – where my wages have been frozen for the past 8 years (and so am effectively getting poorer the longer I work there and the disparity with the private sector is now a gaping chasm). They keep me locked there and doubt my ability to succeed as an entrepreneur/in the private sector.
– The only way to make money is to work really long and hard
– I am not worth the private sector rate
– I cannot possibly charge that
Hi Maya,
Have a go with some of those affirmations about money I used in the video…
And…
Work on balancing mantras to those you’re written,
You can put figures on it too –
and go for high-end private sector (or more) too…
It’s important to really stretch yourself here.
I’d even play with doubling what you’re imagining the private sector rate is…
Then have a look at what your offering is (ie. to be charging or worth that).
I’m guessing it would be less about long hours and hard work,
and more about strategy / added value.
Stuff that’s worth the big bucks. 🙂
Do see what you offer that no one else does.
Or the mix that you offer that no one else does.
J
Thankyou John, I will be using your phrase. My first thought is I cant choose just one thing I really want. But my heart and mind have resolved the real thing I want and I realise how much I have rejected my deep wanting! Fuck it, it’s not so bad. I just acknowledge it because I can’t control any of this, I want to let it gooooo!!! Aaahhhh!!
Suzanne,
Yes, just sit back and watch it all arise naturally,
J
When I asked my mother if I was I loved as a child, her reply was “the trouble with you was all you did was grizzle”!
Another comforting comment was “a little bit of pain never hurt anyone”!
I am now 72 and still keep trying to convince myself that I am loveable.
Hi Bet,
And what a grizzly thing to say that was.
We have a whole area of this work around loving ourselves and feeling loveable,
But have a go at this one to start off with –
‘I love and approve of myself’.
Try saying it 72 times a day and see how you get on,
J
– I don’t know what I want, my preferences don’t matter anyway
– if I’m distressed, I’m probably being dramatic or making it up
– must be the keeper of the peace
– others’ needs are greater than my own
– I can’t be stressed or unhappy, my life isn’t hard enough
– if someone is unkind towards me, I probably did something to incite it
– my sister is more accomplished, as the younger one I deserve a little less (literally in the case of money)
– i must comfort whoever is sad even if it conflicts with my own feelings
– I’m weird because of my preferences (food and more)
– must spend money quickly or else it might be wasted
– to be beautiful means buying new things for every event
– it’s pathetic to need comfort and nurturing
– I’m not much fun
– stick at your job for many years, being unhappy is par for the course
– don’t argue, you must bend to others’ rules
Hi,
You can go through literally rewriting these.
And then saying your new scripts out loud, again and again.
Find different ways to bring these new scripts into your life.
For years I had a couple of paragraphs of such script printed up and in my wallet –
I’d then read it out loud every morning.
Make your balance script part of your life, and let it work it’s cleaning and healing magic on the old scripts.
J
Thank you <3
– I know exactly what I want, and I deserve those things
– It’s okay to feel stressed we all do- but remember, it’s not add serious as you think
– Fuck it, it’s not up to you to fix everyone
– My needs are just as important as everyone else’s
– See above re: stress
– Sometimes, people get angry, it’s probably more about what they’re experiencing…. It’s not personal)
– My sister and I deserve Beaufils, abundant lives
– Other people’s feelings aren’t for me to fix, I’m not responsible for them
– I’ve got unique tastes
– Money flows easily to me and I can spend it on things that enrich my life
– To be beautiful means to be happy add I am
– Fuck it, I deserve to be comfortable and nurtured
– I can be fun, I can be serious, and it’s all fine
– Move jobs when you need to, staying or leaving is the same, feeling stuck is the only poor choice
– You know your own rules: be kind. If someone else had other rules for you, stick to yours, smile and fuck it
That’s it.
Brilliant,
J
My major scripts are…”Why bother, nobody cares”(told myself after falling off a cliff so didn’t go home) Mum always said “compliments are sinful” so I never received any!
From my mother, not long before she passed, whom I had suspected didn’t really like me, but adored my brother’s..
YOU THINK YOU’RE PRETTY…YOU THINK YOU’RE GOOD AT ART…HOW MANY BOYFRIENDS HAVE YOU HAD & many others that I can’t remember but are probably eating me inside.
Feeling emotional remembering this stuff.
Looking forward to next video. I have a few of your books on my Shelf Help section lol Will get them out.
Cheers Christine
Hi Christine,
Thank you so much for sharing. It’s painful to remember such lines isn’t it…
But shining the light on them, realising how cruel many such lines were, and then working with balancing them, really helps.
Otherwise the harsh internal whispers continue.
I’m pleased you’re on this journey with us,
J
I grew up believing that I always needed more, that I needed to be rich to be truly happy; big, fancy house, nice car etc., therefore, although I am a resourceful person, I always feel that my life lacks something and despite my true values, the love of my family being more important than money, I still have moments where I feel that it would bring true contentment and it probably wouldn’t. I think it would make me feel more secure and free if I didn’t have to worry about it at all.
Hi,
Thank you for sharing.
We watched ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ again last night (I know, it’s not Christmas, the opposite as it’s 30 degrees in here, but still)…
And it’s looking at exactly this (so worth a watch, even if it feels weird).
So have a go at writing a range of ‘scripts’ that would start to address this and balance this for you.
One underlying truth for many of us (humans) is that we tend to focus on what we don’t have, rather than what we have.
So you could start there, a ‘I’m so grateful that I have…’ script.
Then you could hit this ‘I imagine I’d be happier and feel more secure if’ thing head on too –
Something like –
I have everything I need in every moment, and what I have naturally adjusts as the needs change’.
That’s a bit clumsy, but I hope you get my gist.
You’ll know you’re getting it right if, when you say it outloud, it creates a bit of mental reaction…
because it’s fighting with your long-help scripts.
Have a play, it’s fun…. and fundamentally powerful stuff.
J
Fucking funny Tim
I feel the wisdom in this message very strongly
You will never be successful in your life.
You are not worth anything.
No wonder with such kind of parents you have.
Thanks for sharing Paula,
So please rewrite these lines for yourself, starting ‘I am…’ (in a positive, balancing way).
And then write them up, put them up in the space around you, and repeat them again and again.
And watch the healing happen.
J
Very moved by your messages/scripts John and Thankyou for being so open and honest about your life events.
I moved around during my formative years having attended 14 different schools and clearly (or in my case not so clearly) had a poor grasp of all subjects except Art, my most memorable script during lessons was ‘please Sir we weren’t doing this in my last class’, only to be told to try and keep up. My parents seldom had time for me and my mother often described me as a ‘nuisance’.
Time is certainly a healer and I now find myself looking after a blind father and dementing mother, but I’m also aware of how much I love them and would do anything for them.
Yes I do often feel inadequate and sad but my script now is ‘life is good’, be grateful.
Looking forward to your next video.
Hi Christine,
Thanks so much for your message.
Funny you talk about school as my headmaster was a Maltby 🙂
So as you dwell on that time (at school and growing up) and on how your parents were then,
I see that you’re doing something very wise – and that’s holding two somewhat different things at the same time –
To hold your parents, as they are now, in love and care.
To recognise that how they treated you wasn’t ideal, to feel that frustration and pain.
So you’ll be ending up with this… you can love them now, but without denying the pain they’ve caused you in the past.
And… you can feel some of the frustration and pain of the past without denying the love you feel for them.
It’s a balancing act, but it acknowledges the truth of what’s really there, the range of colours that is life.
J
You can’t play with us, you didn’t go to the private nursery
No one likes you
Big ears
Men always cheat
You’re too picky
It’s safer on your own
Gillian,
What would make a more affirmative, balancing script for you?
Many of these lines we hear and absorb are literally lies, as yours are.
So we live with our own internal lies –
Telling ourselves things that aren’t true.
Which creates a real dissonance within us.
So your script could be about finally telling the truth.
For example…
‘Some people like me, some love, and some don’t, that’s life’.
You’ll know if you’re hitting the truth because you’ll feel a sense of relief when you say it outloud.
J
*Be a good girl and don’t make a fuss
*The world is a scary place and no one should be trusted
*Don’t take any risks, awful things can happen
*Women work hard and suffer in silence
*Women shouldn’t expect any gratitude for their sacrifices
*It’s better to live a small life in fear rather than expand towards your dreams and risk harm or failure
*Duty to family comes before your own happiness
*Feeling safe is better than feeling joyful and fulfilled
Nicola,
Because there’s such a strong and consistent theme there, including about being a woman and what that means –
Have a go at writing your own script.
You don’t have to match each line here (as i’m suggesting for some people)…
But just sit down, relax yourself (cup of tea helps), and start writing a positive, affirmative script for yourself.
And this might help too –
You could imagine you’re sitting with a small child (female), and telling her some wonderful things about life and living.
Or, if you prefer, imagine yourself as a child. You’re a kind aunt or wise nan, and you simply start talking to this tender young one.
Give yourself the space to do this, it’s beautiful work.
J
You are good (meaning be bad was very bad)
You are clever (I couldn’t get things wrong)
You are responsible, kind, grown up (Meaning I’m not very good even now at saying no)
You look like a boy (Gave me way more issues than I’m going into here)
I rebelled against all my scripts causing many issues until I did a lot of self acceptance and fuck it type works – they still creep up sometimes tho when I don’t look after me
Carlie,
They really resonate for me too –
The curse of being the good boy.
In fact, that resonates with our boys too, one of whom bristles at being thanked for helping and being ‘good’.
These are tricky aren’t they because they’re not obviously negative, but they exclude the full expression of us.
So some of the broader scripts / mantras that I’ll be sharing (in video 3, to be filmed today hopefully) really help here.
J
Thanks so much, I’m on video 2 now. Fuck it books enlightened me years ago, but I had forgotten how to practice it and slipped back into my pleasing ways, this came to me at exactly the right time.
Fuck it I’m of for a massage now
Sorry, I have a script as long as my arm…
You are weak
You can’t fight back
You can’t speak up for yourself
You are stupid
You are socially awkward
You always show yourself up
You always put yourself down
You don’t deserve it
You are no good with people
You can’t handle conflict
You can’t see anything through
How can I ever be a good salesman?
I don’t know what I want to do
I’m just a drifter and a dreamer
Only rich people can do things
Rich people get away with anything
Hi Bharat,
Even in your list you go from ‘you’ to ‘I’, which is how it works for us all over the years as we internalize those messages.
Let’s see if we can get that list down to as long as your hand.
J
what are you stupid can’t you do anything right you’ll never get far in life
Scott,
So try –
I am smart, and am making my own unique and beautiful way through life, playing with what feels right for me.
J
Hi John,
I enjoyed this first video. Following on from the last session, has made me think more about the scripts in my life, then and now.
Thanks for your message Helen.
Just working with this now, making the videos, has made me realise that I’ve internalised the scripts I heard about other people too (ie. the way my parents would speak about others)… And I use those a lot.
So that’s something for further down the line….
How we talk to ourselves, then how we talk about others.
J
When I first encountered John about 15 years ago, my initial resistance came from the script “it can’t be that simple“,
But it is. It takes time, and I found there were SO many scripts, but it really works.
Hey Brendan,
Wow, is it that long?
Yes, the simplicity can be deceptive.
But it’s always appealed to me – to take the complex and squeeze into something v. simple.
Preferably all condensed down to a short sentence.
Or one movement.
Or, in the case of standing Qigong, no movement at all 🙂
J
It’s possible to make lots of money but only by working your backside off, it’s never easy.
It’s wrong to want to get paid to write songs and be an artist when I love doing it for it’s own sake, it compromises my integrity somehow.
I must be stunningly beautiful at all times, the more beautiful I am the more likely I am to succeed.
I can’t handle life stuff like finances. I’m the eccentric, off the wall one… intelligent and creative but with no common sense.
There’s still a part of me that doesn’t believe that I can be 100% self sufficient, even though both my parents were.
Olivia,
So simply to rewrite all those scripts and create ‘balancing’ ones (that are likely to be opposite),
and then keep repeating them, would do you a lot of good, and go deep.
Eg.
I enjoy being valued and rewarded for doing what I both love and am good at, writing and performing songs:
it is a beautiful exchange and I open too to receiving those rewards / money in abundance, knowing that sometimes I will need to work hard, and others I can just sit back and watch it all flow.
J
Olivia, if you want to finesse those words for your new script, and send them to me at eff-it-living@outlook.com, I’ll do a little design for you. J
I was told you are thick and stupid
I have been able to change my script
Thank you love the video
Hi Deborah,
I’m pleased.
And let’s see if some of these new F**k It scripts I’m going to be proposing can build on that.
J
Thank you very much John! I really liked it and want to see next one. (feeling motivated)
Andrea,
Lovely 🙂
Next one out on Saturday, with another big story (my f**k it story) and idea (my favourite script / mantra these last 16 years).
J
Hi John
Fabulous message, as always.
The most damaging scripts for me were
You are worthless.
Other people are more important.
You used to be such a nice child. Why are you always miserable?
Michelle,
Thank you for sharing.
‘Damaging’ is true, all the projecting of others’ fears and own damaging scripts.
J
Hi John (and Gai), I came to one of your yoga retreats in the early days with yoga supremos Ducci and Bhati. I still have my F**k it T shirt and wear it with great pride and my book is well used. Its lovely to be reminded of our need to edit our script and constantly update and re write. Very refreshing and f**k it still has a mental impact for me. So nice to see you looking so very chilled. All best Caroline Clegg
Wonderful to hear your message, really looking forward to the next video. I love your personal stories and examples. As a child I received lots of rejection messages, I know they have made me who I am. Thanks for this new series
Suzanne,
Thank you for your message.
More personal stories to come 🙂
The great thing is that the ‘balancing’ mantras that we’re going to look at ultimately feel as natural as those that we’ve been living with most of our lives (because they emanate from our natural state).
J
Hi Caroline,
It’s lovely to hear from you again –
Yes, let’s get the best script doctors working on our scripts 🙂
Though I’m now pondering which genre I’d prefer for the rewrite (as my preferred viewing genres wouldn’t work, though they’re thankfully not horror!).
J
You’re too slow
You have too much imagination
Are you saved?
You’re a crybaby
You don’t have much ‘up there’
You’re a bag of nerves
Wow Wow wow powerful stuff and feels so simple. I can relate to every word and feel the power of changing this around. Feeling the power in the fuck it revolution.
People with money are mean and untrustworthy, not in “my” experience
You are working class and will always be proud to be. I am working class but I have my own mentality.
You have a wild and uncontrollable imagination. I have and now see the beauty and wholeness in that.
Your loud. I’m also very very quiet.
You’re to sensitive. I am and I celebrate that.
Stick with what you’re good at, cleaning and caring. I’m also good at so many other things. The possibilities are abundant.
And so the list goes on.
John c parkin you are a great big ball of fuck it energy. It all feels very sincere and powerful.
Love and appreciation
Mandy Mandy,
I LOVE the way you’re challenging them all, and rewriting as you go,
You’re on the higher level already 🙂
Any script rewriting / balancing through the kinds of scripts we’re going to be exploring will work wonders for you because you’re so open, creative and bursting with ‘faith’ and hope.
(And I parenthesize ‘faith’ there, as I’d rarely use that word, and I don’t mean in a god of any kind, though if that’s someone’s bag then great, but in the sense that you apply, with wisdom, belief in what you’re working with, which really helps things work, as the mind is a powerful tool in so many ways, and it multiplies the effort and energy we put in in any direction, negative or positive).
Fabulous having you on this journey, as ever,
J
Jenny,
So here’s an exercise that I’m planning to do in about 6 months with those who join this journey…
Rewrite and reframe every one of those, and start repeating them as mantras (you’ll see how these work in the upcoming videos).
For example, ‘You’re too slow’ could be ‘I choose just the right speed for me’.
‘You’re a crybaby’ could be ‘I am healthily in touch with my emotions’.
And so on.
Happy rewriting 🙂
J
Thanks, Jon…
I’m enjoying rewriting my scripts already!
Lovely, J
You have to work really hard to achieve success.
Money and financial abundance come from hard work and hard work only.
Trust your head, don‘t trust your heart.
Hi Laura,
Yes, these are very strong –
And I’m guessing you know this, but my experience, and what I’ve observed is that –
Success, money and financial abundance sometimes come from graft and hard work, sometimes rather more easily and naturally, and often a peculiar mix of the two. And that the success usually comes from that mix of head and heart too. 🙂
J
Hi John !
loved this first video. I need to re write the entire data/scripts in my brain. I’m now 60 and if you just think about every negative unkind comment a parent and some others could make, I got told it. Things like “ You are ugly and will never Look good in anything “ or how about “ Having you ruined my life “. Looking forward to the other videos. PS. Does this stuff truly work ?
Oh it works Tanya. It’s never to late. You got this
Tanya,
Yes, it really does work. And the science supports our movement to change too – in that our brains really are more malleable than we ever thought (just like dna is more fluid than we all thought).
I’ll share with you how these have worked in so many ways for me (and continue to do so every day).
I’ve also spent precious time with amazing people who had such script changing at the centre of their astonishing lives (and I’m currently thinking of three dear ones who’ve passed, Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer and Stephen Russell).
And though I use the phrase ‘evidence-based’ a lot –
The best evidence we can base this on is the changes we see day to day as we start to experiment with this powerful work.
J
It works.
Hi John – great video and an inspiring message for all of us.
I was lucky, most of my scripts were good but there is always room for improvement.
Looking forward to your next video ❤️
Thanks Shirley,
Next video coming tomorrow (fingers crossed, touching wood, as still quite a bit to do 🙂 ), J
Loved your second video John ❤️ cannot help but smile and feel good just seeing you share your wonderful message !! looking forward to the next video and the next time we meet In this moment life is good Thanks !!
🙂
This video was eye opening for me. When I really think about it, I’m amazed at the scripts that I have running in the background of my mind. I’ve had a pretty fair amount of success in my career and life but I know that my scripts tell me –
*I’m not quite smart enough.
*I’m a fraud and others will see that I really don’t deserve my position.
*what I have isn’t quite good enough.
*I’ve gone as far as I can at 52 years and any dreams for change or more aren’t really in the cards for me.
I’m not quite sure where all of this comes from. I was raised by good people but I was taught to always proceed very cautiously and that the world is a dangerous place. Maybe that’s playing a role here.
Thanks for helping me to see this. I’m looking forward to seeing more videos and being a part of the Fuck It way of thinking.
Thank you Dennis,
I’m guessing very similar messages swirl around most of our heads –
The mainly unacknowledged whisperers that accompany us through our lives.
And acknowledging them is a big part of it 🙂
J
Hi,
John here.
I hope you’ve enjoyed the first video.
I look forward to reading your messages –
Especially about what ‘scripts’ you received when you were young (and throughout your life).
It’s enlightening when we realize how deep these scripts and how much they influence our lives.
Johnx
Don’t think you’ll be better off than me one day.
Women can’t handle money.
You’ll end up living under a bridge.
It’s no point striving for something, because Jesus will come back soon.
You are bad and sinful.
You are ugly.
Be careful, it’s dangerous.
People outside our circles are untrustworthy and evil.
The world is a vale of tears.
Suffering shows you’re a good person.
Always take the lowest path.
The right path is narrow, stony and steep. The wrong path is wide, there’s lots of fun and laughter and it’s easy.
Money is a sign of evil.
You can’t.
Be content and quiet.
A woman’s joy is to care for a man and follow him.
Be humble.
Don’t brag.
It’s okay to be a bit dim, the main thing is to be pious and good. (Phew – what a relief!)
So you think you’re something?
I could go on, but I won’t – it fucking sucks. But I am grateful to you for reminding me of some of these. I’ve already flipped a few and some I didn’t even remember until now. I’ll find antidotes for the rest of them. Big love – you’re brilliant!
Eva,
I just spotted your message 🙁
Go go with those antidotes and hope the ones I shared in video 3 are helping too 🙂
J