THE HIDDEN SOURCE MINI-WORSHOPS from GAIA POLLINI
AN INTRODUCTION TO GAIA POLLINI and these MINI-WORKSHOPS
Gaia is the co-author of the F**k It books, and co-founder of the whole F**k It thing.
She has been offering her liberating therapeutic teaching for more than 20 years in the form of retreats, workshops and 1-to-1s.
She lives in Italy and teaches her ‘F**k It Be You’ retreats in different delicious locations around Italy.
Gaia:
“I’m so excited to be sharing these three videos on ‘The Hidden Source’ with you. I will take you through how it’s possible to identify this Hidden Source to most of our problems.
I’ll take you through the theory, based on cutting-edge, science-based therapeutic practices, such as N.A.R.M. (Neuro Affective Relational Model), and I’ll use real 1-to-1s with clients to illustrate how this all works in real life.
Whatever the problems that people have – with relationships, or work, or self-esteem, or with anxiety or fear – it’s amazing to explore the underlying source of these problems and work with that. In fact, just seeing this Source can start to change things.
I hope you enjoy these mini-workshops.
I offer them to you with my love.
Gaia x
The Hidden Source Mini-Workshop Videos
Your free videos are below, released every couple of days
THE HIDDEN SOURCE
Mini-workshop 1 (of 3).
Introduction to how this ‘Hidden Source’ works.
THE HIDDEN SOURCE 2
Mini-workshop 2 (of 3).
See the revealing of the ‘Hidden Source’ in action in a real 1-to-1.
THE HIDDEN SOURCE 3
Mini-workshop 3 (of 3).
See another read 1-to-1 in which Richard’s ‘Hidden Source’ is revealed.
The big new idea that Gaia mentions at the end of the last video – the new –
F**K IT BE YOU 1-TO-1 SYSTEM
Which is a complete support system
For whatever you’re going through.
Is now open for entry (for one week only) – here –
LINK TO PAGE
And please do leave a comment below…
Just scroll down to the bottom and type your comment, it’s easy.
And enjoy reading others’ comments too.
77 Comments
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Thank you for these fascinating videos. In this same week the Guardian was running an article on In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate and a friend mentioned research into MDMA for accessing trauma memories cited on BBC Radio 4, and I’m doing a lot of work with my psychotherapist around childhood trauma and the link to my addictions, so it all came together as messages from the gods!
When I met you on Stromboli in 2017 (with my daughter Lucy), I found it really difficult to accept the love you offered so freely to us all. So this is my belated appreciation….. Hope to see you again next year and meanwhile love to you both.
Hi Amanda,
And much love to you from us both.
It’s so great to hear that many important bits are coming together – John heard and read that stuff about MDMA too, and I do know the work of Gabor Mate on trauma.
It would be lovely to see you again next year –
And let that love flow 🙂
Gaia
Hi Gaia, I’ve just watched video 1 and it’s fascinating, my 2 year old self says hi and I’ve really connected with some things that happened at that stage with a few tears, nothing unusual but yes, a big fat lid on me. Can’t wait to watch the next vids. Huge love <3 xx
Hi Janet,
Gaia here.
Thanks you so much for your message.
So interesting that it resonated with you deeply and it allowed the lid to come off and the feelings to arise. What a great process 🙂
Thanks for sharing,
Enjoy the other videos,
Big love,
Gaia
Love to you both and thank you.
Marj,
Love love love to you.
Did you see we wrote one of the questions thinking of you?
So happy you’re in,
Gaia & John
Gaia so lovely to see you again, and John to hear you 🙂 I was very moved by the extract you read from the book, and I think you were too… I’m glad I saw the clip to help re-instate what you told me that day in the summer – I needed to hear it again!
Love Dora x
Hello lovely Dora,
Gaia here,
It’s wonderful to hear from you.
Hope things are well for you,
Yes, that piece moves me every time,
Big love,
Gaia
Amazing, it’s the only word I find. I loved each video and the work you do, Gaia and John.
If my english was better, I believe I would be a part of all that is.
Hi Marie,
Gaia here.
Thank you so much for your words, and very beautiful words at that.
You are very much a part of all that is,
Just with your few words, I can feel that, your heart and the part you play on this planet.
Remember, I’m not English myself, so the language thing rarely gets in the way… so it may still work to do 1-to-1s with me.
Big love,
Gaia
Really thought provoking videos guys – I got such a lot out of it so thank you so much for putting yourselves out there to help us help ourselves. My deepest desire is to feel like I truly belong – in a place , in a family, in a friendship group, in a career – but I never feel it whatever I do, wherever I go or whomever I befriend. I never have and whilst I understand life is about the journey, never having that sense of belonging is too lonely sometimes.
I grew up with emotionally abusive patents – one completely withholding and the other a bully. Both had depression but never got treatment as they were far too worried about their social standing to be seen taking antidepressants. Everything was geared around maintaining a ‘perfect family’ image, but that’s all it was – an image. I never had authentic role models and now generally attract needy people, people who want something from me then disappear when I look to them for support, but after a fantastic weekend this summer in Brighton learning to say ‘Fuck it’ I found myself saying ‘Fuck off’ (in a nicer way though!) to people only interested in taking from me. Consequently my social circle is ‘tres petit’, but I’m actually ok with that because I’ve said ‘Fuck it’ and stood up for myself rather than putting others’ needs and wants first. I don’t want to hurt feelings, but sometimes it’s inevitable and I’ve reached the stage where I’ve asked myself ‘why do they matter more than I do?’ and have found myself replying ‘they don’t – their shit is theirs, not mine’.
I think I’ll always struggle to not feel like I’m being selfish if I choose my needs and wants over somebody else’s, but you couldn’t re-programme 40 odd years of poorly written software overnight so there’s no hope I’ll be able to undo a lifetime of learned behaviour at the drop of the hat. Like life I guess it’s all part of the journey.
Jill,
Gaia here.
I totally get it, that’s totally clear, what your parents did. And what response to it is totally understandable and a natural survival response.
I also get about this feeling of not belonging from that. But I know that something else is possible for you; other feelings are possible for you.
I’m so glad that you could take so much from the weekend, and clearly you’re ready for the work.
And I actually do believe we can change 40 year old patterns, I’ve done it myself, when the work is right.
Sure, it’s not overnight, it does take time, and that’s part of the ‘journey’-like process of what we’re offering (in the ‘System’ that we alluded to in the last video, and more info coming tomorrow).
Big love,
Gaia
I love you two and really enjoyed the three mini videos..,,,,thank you … my deepest wish is to be authentic… to uncover the essence of who I truly am …..hidden by a need to please, fit in, be liked and thought well of !!! I Look
forward to hearing about the new system and thank you both for being who you are!
Ahhh Ros,
We love you too.
Wow, you’ve hit that nail on the head of what we’re into – with this new ‘F**k It Be You’ stuff.
Yes, that need to please is one of the mechanisms that we look at (there are five in total)… and it’s great to see where they come from and how to work with these patterns,
Love to you,
Gaia
Wow truly amazing work, how wonderful to hear “Richard” make that beautiful discovery, looking forward to the weekend workshop even more now ❤️
Anita,
Yes, isn’t it amazing to hear someone really coming to theìr true nature,
Really look forward to seeing you so soon,
Big love,
Gaia
Thank for this inspirational work. I am aware of the issues of insecure early attachment and the impact on our emotional and mental well-being. I wonder if your work and research on this ‘hidden source’ covers later trauma and it’s impact. My partner experienced the sudden death of his mother at age 13 (and his father at 22) and only now, 35 years later, is he beginning to experience his feelings about this – as well as physical manifestations of pain and fatigue. It was never talked about at the time, so emotions have been deeply buried but are now surfacing in a variety of ways!
Jane,
Thank you so much for writing, and sharing.
Yes, my work does cover later trauma too. I use a discipline called ‘Somatic Experiencing’ as well as the ‘NARM’ (developmental trauma), to work also with later traumas. The two disciplines are related actually and work together very deeply in the 1-to-1 work (and yes, both at an emotional and physical level).
As for your partner doing some of this work with me… look out for what we’re offering tomorrow (the F**k It Be You 1-to-1 System), or you or he could email me directly if you prefer (eff-it-living@outlook.com).
Big love,
Gaia
Hi John and Gaia, looking forward to the weekend in London soon, I’m struggling with what I want for myself right now , any suggestions of how to get in touch with the hearts desire? I have a wonderful life but something is missing. Xx
Hi lovely Anita,
Gaia here.
So from the mini-workshop, you may have noticed that when people get in touch with their heart’s desire (rather than a set of goals or a strategy), it touches them emotionally, ie. it’s from the heart.
So that’s what you’re looking for – something that really touches you.
This is the perfect material to work with in time you spend with me, whether in groups or in 1-to-1s.
Can’t wait to see you soon in London,
Big love,
Gaia
Thank you Gaia …. so so true x
Hi to you both and thank you so much for sharing your knowledge so freely. I can reflect on how I learnt to put a lid on myself as a very young child. I am gradually opening up now that I’m in my 40s, with the help of your books and videos. I am aware however, that I find it very difficult to allow my two young daughters to say no to things. I don’t want them to have the hang ups I have but I can’t help feeling that I’m repeating my own experiences onto them, in spite of trying to come from the heart.
Much love and appreciation to you both xo
Hi George,
Gaia here.
The first thing to say, just judging from your words alone here, is that you’re clearly a fantastic dad and a wonderful person.
Just the fact that you’re considering your daughters’ needs, against your own reactions, is a great sign. And it means that you see them as people.
You’re being conscious and loving, and you’re watching things as they develop.
What more can a child ask for?
Keep doing what you’re doing and being what you’re being.
And I’ll share this story I shared with someone else on these comments…
About the ‘no’, I’ll tell you a little story.
I have a friend in Milan, who has a 3-year old girl.
It was bedtime and the girl really didn’t want to go to bed.
So much so that she wanted to hit her mum.
And her mum simply put her hands out, so that her daughter could fully express her anger and frustration by repeatedly hitting her mum’s hands.
Once she’d expressed this energy, the little girl (with big power) completely calmed down and her mum just calmly took her to bed.
Job done.
Loads of love,
Gaia
Bless you, many thanks Gaia, I will try. I can see how I inherited the behaviour from my mother and I want to break the cycle. I don’t blame her, but I want to stop the feeling that females need to be subservient and amenable at any cost. Much love xo
Love to you Georgina,
Fantastic you want to break the cycle,
Gaia
Simple incredible
I have been doing a lot of inner work over the last two years
And this was a easy to follow explanation of how critical we can become
I am feeling grateful
Deborah,
Gaia here.
And I am grateful for what you say –
This way of working completely clarifies what’s going on – it really is so clear – and that’s such a relief for those of us doing the inner work 🙂
The work itself uncovers feelings that we have shut away for a long time, giving us emotional completion so that we become really free. Yum yum.
Big love,
Gaia
A splendid way to approach the work in oneself..
Amazing
Grazie Germana,
From my heart,
Gaia
Thank you so much for this video. I’m going through what I class as a life crisis at the moment where I’m incredibly anxious and on edge a lot of the time and have been trying to figure out how to ‘fix’ myself for quite some time. Your explanations in this video really ring true with me. I’m really looking forward to the next video!
Hi Katie,
It’s Gaia here.
I’m sorry to hear it’s tough at the moment.
I really see that this work with developmental trauma can get to the root of anxiety and discomfort because it mixes work with the nervous system (over-activation and feeling frozen) and the psychological structure that’s created survival coping patterns that no longer serve us.
John’s sending the next video out this pm – and we go deeper into it using the example from a 1-to-1,
Big love,
Gaia
Hi Gaia and John
Very lovely to hear from you. Such a heart feeling
Can’t we just wave the magic wand. I am feeling impatient
Hopefully I will get this peace you are offering.
James Brooklyn
Hi James,
Gaia here.
Thanks for your words.
Well the work is magic, it’s just not quite the swish of a wand 🙂
But the peace does come through doing this work –
And you’ll see some of that in the next couple of videos.
Love to you,
Gaia
Hello lovely both. Just to say I can’t wait to see you in a couple of weekends’ time, Gaia – it’s been too long! And following your path as I’m so, so interested in working with trauma. Huge hugs until soon…. x
Hi Emma,
Gaia here.
It will be fantastic to see you again soon.
Yes, this developmental trauma work is truly powerful…
And exciting – so looking forward to sharing it with you at the weekend,
Big love, Gaia
Love and hugs to you both.
Hey Curtis,
Gaia here.
That’s funny, I was thinking about you yesterday 🙂
Big hugs and love to you too,
Gaia
Thank you Gaia, I would love to work with you. I have been in shut down for nearly 6 years!!! I have followed a course by Irene Lyon and see a lovely counsellor and have tried many other paths too but I love the idea of 1-to-1 with someone who really ‘gets’ trauma! I am familiar with everything you speak about but find it so hard to implement. Thank you for bringing this work and your heart here to help us heal finally. ❤️
Hi Nancy,
Gaia here.
You’re very welcome – and yes, I really do get trauma 🙂 –
That’s the work that I’ve found gets to the places that nothing else gets to.
So healing really happens.
And it’s such a relief!
In a few days’ time, we’ll be explaining about a new way to get to do 1-to-1s with me, so I really love forward to sharing that and working with you.
Big love, Gaia
Hi Gaia and John, thanks so much for such a succinct summary of life moments, as ever you’ve hit the nail on the head with your intuitive, and informed explanation Gaia. Those toddler “no” moments – I’m looking forward to garnering wisdom to support parents to deal with them, without causing the ‘lid’ to go on! Also can you write up the title/authoress of the book that the beautiful quote came from at 5.30 in your video please? Thank you:-)
Hi Johanna,
Gaia here.
First off, the book is ‘Dying to be Me’, by Anita Moorjani.
Thank you for what you say –
This is exciting insightful work isn’t it?
About the ‘no’, can I tell you a little story.
I have a friend in Milan, who has a 3-year old girl.
It was bedtime and the girl really didn’t want to go to bed.
So much so that she wanted to hit her mum.
And her mum simply put her hands out, so that her daughter could fully express her anger and frustration by repeatedly hitting her mum’s hands.
Once she’d expressed this energy, the little girl (with big power) completely calmed down and her mum just calmly took her to bed.
Job done. I wish we all had this.
And it’s great that you’ll be able to support parents in understanding it 🙂
Big love, Gaia
Thanx for the book title Gaia, off to order that now. And wow, lucky wee girl to have a mum that’s so in alignment with source, great to hear examples of how simple it is to do, once we/parents have the capacity to stay centred. So looking forward to next videos 🙂
Ciao Johanna,
Hope you enjoyed the other videos,
Gaia
Hi Gaia and John, I just wanted to stop by and say thank you. I am very interested in your work. I have done a lot of research with young people involved in social care and inter generational patterns of abuse, and I consistently got asked by social workers what use the findings were, so it’s very good to see these findings start to become more centrally understood in psycho therapeutic terms. I’m really looking forward to the next videos. Again big thanks, it definitely resonates in my own life too.
Hi Karen,
Gaia here.
It’s lovely to hear from you.
And that you’re involved in working with young people and trauma.
Yes, it’s true, this science-based work with trauma, in both Somatic Experiencing and the Neuro Affective Relational Model, is very helpful in the field- and, as you say, it’s good to back up psycho therapeutic concepts with research and techniques that work on the nervous system.
I hope you enjoy the next two videos too – I work with two people 1-to-1 in those, so you see it all come to life (literally 🙂 ).
Big love,
Gaia
Thank you so much! Looking forward for the next one Sometimes when I feel anxious I try to meet this fear and say like ok I want to welcome this part of me, but I get confused I can’t even explain it but it’s like a paradox. What are the questions that I have to ask myself about my feelings?
Hey Andrea,
Gaia’s now gone off to do some 1-to-1s. So we’ll be back later to answer your question. x
Hi Andrea,
Gaia here. The best question to ask when you’re feeling anxious is –
“What’s not being expressed here?”
Again, we would have learnt a long time ago that some feelings are not allowed. And, without knowing, we push them away. But pushing away a true feeling is a disconnection that creates anxiety.
So try that question, and you may discover something new and helpful,
Big love,
Gaia
Very interesting as my husband and myself are just agreeing to spend Christmas with my son and his family. We really really don’t want to. We have done it half a dozen times and hated it. We are afraid to say no in case they stop speaking to us. If this happened we wouldn’t see our 3 year old grandchild. We are over 70 and just want a quiet Christmas at home. I’m pretty sure that as 2 year olds we were NEVER allowed to say ‘NO!’ Hope the next videos will show us how to do this.
Hi Jenny,
My, that sounds difficult. And yes, one of the main reasons as little ones that we’re afraid to say ‘no’ is massive fear of loss (usually the love of our parents). So the fear of loss is deep.
Next video – yes, the 1-to-1 that Gaia (John & Gaia here by the way 🙂 ) has extracts from does cover the subject of being in your own space.
That’ll be with you on Saturday.
All the best to you both, and hope you can find a more peaceful way through it,
John & Gaia x
Hi John & Gaia
Wonderful explanation Gaia – thank you. Makes everything & anything seem possible (which of course it is 😉 ) xx
Thankyou darling Elizabeth,
It is indeed,
Big love, Gaia
Hi everyone,
John & Gaia here.
Please do submit a comment here. It’s very easy.
And we’ll reply too.
Hope you enjoyed this first video,
J&Gx
And it’s easy to reply to others’ comments too, as we demonstrate here.
Q.: Is talking to yourself healthy?
J&Gx
Probably not that healthy guys.
But we still love you.
J&Gx
Thank you for the amazing insight into the inability to use the word NO !!! Even though I have tried so hard I still have to follow up with a lengthy explanation as I feel so uncomfortable saying the N word !!! I am 67 years old !!! X
Hi Dorothy,
It’s the power of ‘no’. Isn’t it amazing how the root of that habit a lot of us have of not being able to say it is so deep? At least half the trick in life is knowing when to say yes and when to say no isn’t it?
Gaia & John x
Dear John & Gaia, I have just watched the video and can I say what a wonderful resource it is. Gaia I have always loved you (I love you also John)- you are one of life’s true guru’s. I love seeing how much you grow and how much knowledge, compassion,love and understanding you bring to the world. You are a true angel. I am absolutely sold on this technique – I think it is amazing. It is just what people need, what the world needs, what I need.I cannot wait for the next video and I will be booking a one to one session very soon. Thank you so very much for everything you both do xxxx
Thank you Julie,
Wow, thank you for your beautiful words. I’m touched.
This is such powerful work and I do see people changing their feelings about themselves, and their lives, through this work.
I really look forward to working with you –
You’ll see in a few days the new way we’re offering for people to do 1-to-1s with me (it’s very new and exciting) –
A presto,
Big love,
Ciao,
Gaia
How lovely to see Gaia’s beautiful face and hear John’s voice in this video! Seeing and hearing you brings a flood of happy feelings and gratitude for the experiences I’ve had with you & the personal growth you have helped cultivate. And the friendships & tender love & embracing of the real me I have felt through Fuck It. Thank you for your light & love. I hope to see you again in the coming year. Be well! Oxo Sean
Hi Sean,
Gaia here.
It’s so lovely to hear from you. It’s been a little while, and it’s really lovely thinking about you.
I also hope to see you soon – and it’s lovely to hear that our work together has been important,
Big love,
Gaia
really that easy? to answer I mean?!
yes!!!!
thanks a lot.
lovely to see (and hear) you.
and yes, well – thank you! I love it. meaning – in tears and warm all over.
Verena,
Gaia here.
And it’s lovely to hear you.
Thank you so much for your words and your beautiful heart.
Sending love from my heart.
Gaia
Thank you for a really inspiring and heartfelt video. It’s empowering to realise it’s ok to be yourself and in moments of stress or worry I always stop now and think F**k it! I’m looking forward to the next one. Thank you John and Gaia.x
Hi Jannette,
Gaia here.
I think you’ll love the next one – all about being ourselves.
Best thing ever, and I get from your words that you see that.
A presto,
Big love,
Gaia
The videos are so powerful Gaia’s gentle, enlightening, logic is so unthreatening to people like us who’ve been frightened out of ourselves! I struggle with a lot of anger, contempt and impatience. I know I’m basically good and clever but I feel murderous towards stubbornly stupid, destructive people and I don’t have loving feelings towards people generally, only towards animals. I would love to be able to function from the heart rather than from the head but my life experience of first living in a colonial bubble in Egypt then in apartheid South Africa then post apartheid South Africa tells me that on the whole people are dangerous, lying, disgusting horrible creatures! A lovely person like you Gaia is a rarity! My experience of life is that it’s hard & dangerous and you have to be on your guard mostly. Though come to think of it I do meet some rare lovely people in the most surprising places.
Dear Anne,
Gaia here.
I’m just off out for the afternoon.
But I’ll be back with you later today / first thing tomorrow.
Love, Gaia
There’s a reason Noah built the ark for animals , a very wise man. Thanks to the Fuck it retreats my faith in humans have been restored. There are a lot of beautiful whole open and honest people out there. I’ve met lots of them. You quite clearly do function from the heart as you are able to love. Sending you love
Hi Anne,
Gaia here.
It sounds like you had loads of tough experiences, which affected your perception of the world (and they are tough places you’ve been in too).
Our environment does affect us so much – particularly unsafe or confusing environments – and they have their effect on the nervous system in particular (that’s always looking out for the threat).
I do a lot of work with Somatic Experiencing, which deals with such effects on the nervous system (one of my trainer friends works exclusively with those traumatised in war zones), and it’s really important to resettle the nervous system and find a safe place from where to feel our emotions, so that we can feel okay in ourselves again… that we can feel powerful and not threatened.
So I’ve really heard you. And I really understand.
And as we get back in touch with this power, then our reality is populated by more and more good, friendly and safe people, than the others… in fact, just in your message you start to see that.
Big love and loveliness to you,
Gaia
Hi J & G,
Loved listening to this workshops/conversation, between two beautiful and inspirational ladies, G & M, so thank you for this. Especially in finding the source to ‘unlock’ F**k it & Be you. Makes a lot of sense.
My deepest desire (as you asked!) is one of Freedom – to be me, to create, to truly live and feel and experience all – the good, the bad, the love and the ugly. Bring it on! Sharing these lessons and experiences helps me to continue to do the work, and its lovely to see others being courageous also. Really amazing, important work.
Sending love and thanks as always, Phillippa x
Lovely Phillippa,
Wow, your deepest desire is wonderful and inspiring,
and, hey, you’re living that now.
Just saying it, it’s palpable how you’re living it.
It’s beautiful to hear your words.
Love to you,
Gaia & John x
G&J, … the ‘F**k it, Do what you Love’ evidently works – so thanks to you! x
Hi p
Yes yes yes let’s experoence it all. The good the bad the pretty the ugly the loud the quiet the sun the rain…….. No more limitations
Thank you so much for these three videos! I have learned a lot about myself through listening to the interviews and Gaia’s wise words. Looking forward to participating in your next project: Fuck it be you
Thanks Laura,
Gaia here, glad you enjoyed them.
News on the full project hitting your mailbox soon,
Big love,
Gaia
Just viewed this. Sorry I am late to the party. This is powerful stuff and I recognise the theory and the learning having become aware of my own family dynamic in terms of not being OK and its impact on myself and my sister over most of our adult lives. I know its a pattern that repeats in lots of ways. Sometimes awareness allows me to act differently, sometimes I am back in the old patterns before I know it. I don’t know how to change the pattern – maybe that is even the wrong terminology because it seems to me the more I try to change the more I stay the same so maybe it is more of a letting go than a trying to change. Worse than that are the underlying not OK beliefs…I feel a resistance to letting them go -that lid is jammed on tight! Gaia, I am struck by how at home in your own skin and at peace with yourself you seem to be. Curious to see what is in the next video….
Good morning, I’m Olivia. Your book called “F**k it” inspired me to many things. Today I am a really happy person thanks to these two words. I would like to give happiness to others so in small steps we approach my request. “Wattpad” is an application for reading and writing books. I would like to publish a book for my readers and share the success that your book brings. All rights will be reserved and it will be clearly stated that the book is not mine. I would ask for a sincere answer.
Greetings